"We do things a little differently here!"

We like to sit you down, and show you a menu. We take pride on our chewable, edible food. These little fellers here are silverware.

The ones that amuse me are the restaurants that don’t do table service, but still have a multiple staff on the floor and door seemingly only to tell diners they don’t do table service.

My experience:

"Oh, well, here you need to download an app, consent to everything the app wants to do and register with your phone number. Then you can order and walk to the kitchen to pick up the food you ordered. Also, leave a tip if you enjoyed the service."

"We do family style, which means the portions are more than you can conceivably eat. That way you won't complain when we overcharge you by a factor of 10."

I once went to a pizza place that had a slogan like "pizza done different" and you went through the a chipotle style line and picked out crust, sauce, toppings, then they made your pizza and gave it to you. I couldn't figure out that was any different from a regular place.

Well you see, we have mild AND spicy salsa.

Here at Restaurant, we offer "lonely singles style" dining. You order something you want to eat, and then you don't share it with anyone else. Unless they like, ask really politely for a bite, then that's on you. At the end of your meal, you ask for the check, then you wait like 20 minutes while going back and forth on whether you really need dessert or not, then you pay and leave!

Where's the "we want plates" lemmy community? I loved that one on the other site.

I feel like this is basically every action horror story ever as well....

"Forget everything you've seen in the movies, the only way to kill a Vampire is put a stake through the heart! Guns are useless!"

if your server is doing this it's because innumerable people before you have managed to fuck up eating out

whispers little bits

But if you say yes they say the same speal to remind you

we have something called a menu which you can choose your food from

Oh, y'all still have wait staff?

We have "digital kitchens" now: https://stories.whataburger.com/whataburger-debuts-new-digital-kitchen-all-the-flavor-with-more-convenience/

Same wait without the staff, tables . . . or blackjack

Then they slide your silverware or straw over to you and say ...and there's that."

"Yes of course, that"

@pizza used to have their own name for every ingredient and would correct you if you asked for something by its regular name

Yooo it's DC from Derrick comedy!

The only time I ever needed a waiter to explain how things worked was when I ate at a Paula Dean restaurant. That place did not work like a normal restaurant.

"they make us treat you like fucking idiots who can't listen or read, because from experience, you absolutely are"