1y ago

ssa

People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers and coworkers. In my case I’d quit some coworkers and sometimes my manager.

But others coworkers are good ones I like working with, and the workplace is not very far, meaning my commute is so small I can bike there. There’s lots of downtime as well and sometimes my biggest trouble is how not to die of boredom listening to my coworkers’ boring stories because they feel offended if I don’t sit with them. I’m unionized.

I like keeping to myself and deciding what kind of people I want in my private life. Most of my coworkers are not this kind of people. I’ve been called a loner, which is actually true and it’s not a problem unless people bully me for it (because they feel offended by my silence, apparently). My biggest problem is office drama. However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?

I don’t get drama. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

7 comments

I’m going to be honest here, it doesn’t sound like you even really know what you want. Annoying coworkers are an inevitable part of adult life. I have had a lot of jobs at many different companies, and you just learn how to fake nice and play as little of the office politics that you can. The best thing for you, I think, would be finding a remote job if that’s possible. There are a ton of remote positions now a days and that’s the best way to not have to interact with other people, save for zoom meetings.

People quit jobs. I quit my factory job to get a cs degree.

My biggest problem is office drama. However, wherever I go, there’s always going to be drama, so wouldn’t it be wiser to stay with the bad I already know?
If this is the first or second time you've had this issue on a job, then you just need to decide what you want: either you switch job, or wait for the individuals that bother you to do so instead. Neither is a guarantee that things will be any better.
If it's the fifth, sixth, seventh time ... Well as the old saying goes: if everywhere smells of dog shit it's time to check your heel.
How I approach my career: Never change jobs because of extraneous factors that are not directly related to your career and where you want to take it. People will come and go, drama will rise and fall in equal measure. None of it will matter a jot compared to whether you're actually satisfied with the role itself, and how it allows you to reach your career goals.

My colleagues also like to shun me, which shouldn't be a problem working remotely, but all the people who come to the office and have connections just got their promotions. Working hard and being good at your job are just not as important as being loud and knowing people. I just had a short holiday and I just can't get my motivation to work anymore since I'm back.
So I'll just keep slacking off and look for other opportunities in the meantime or maybe they'll fire me at some point and I'll have some time to travel or something.

Something you'll learn to live by once enter the workplace: your coworkers are not your friends. There might be a one in a thousand case that's an exception to this rule, but most of the time you should not think of them as more than coworkers you have to work with to get your job done. I've witnessed too many cases of coworkers backstabbing each other for their own professional ambitions or where a coworker dies and everyone just completely forgets about him a few days later.
That doesn't mean you should be overly pessimistic either. The idea is to be pragmatic. No one wants a toxic environment, so everyone will put in some effort to maintain a cozy facade, and you should too, as that minimizes tensions for everyone. The mistake would be forgetting that it's all a facade and starting to think of them as something like a family, that's a mistake most juniors make.
My motto is: smile at your coworkers but guard your damn ass when you turn your back to them.

Are earbuds/headphones allowed at your work? Construction noise outside, people taking actively at meetings, gossip whatever is super distracting so sometimes I WFH, and I do my best focused work listening to music.
Just don't bother with gossip that you're not interested in and have people talk to you exclusively about your work and things you care about more.

Here are few things to consider:
If you got another job, what current benefits (eg the bike ride, union) would you lose or gain?
Is it possible to get a life-changing amount of money in a new job? This is really dependent on you and your situation. After taxes and deductions, will the new job provide you enough money to materially change your circumstances? Early on, a 5k raise is life-changing. Later in your career, it’s really not.
What’s the price of your mental health? Is it truly being negatively affected here?
Are you positive you’d be able to find a new job without the problems you’re currently experiencing?
Is staying or leaving better for your goals in life which may or may not include your career?
I work in tech where I could, in theory, job hop every six months or so. I always encounter problems at jobs and there’s always something new and flashy in my inbox. This framework helps me evaluate why I want to leave and if I actually should. Most of the time it’s really just some ennui I need to weather. Sometimes it’s not! My mental health is very valuable to me and has led to some salary cuts.

7 comments