I could use some feedback on anxiety issues.

2 years ago I had had a break down. I started having panic attacks and I would grind my teeth a bit. Eventually I shattered a tooth. Two years later and a root canal that tooth is causing issues due to an infection. I have a check up on it in a month. It's not really painful, but it's a grim reminder of all the issues I had.

I am a significant amount better than before. Meds and therapy helped a lot. But this tooth reminds me of a time where I was a wreck. It's not a fun feeling. And I don't know what happens next. I never got a tooth pulled for example, I don't know what to expect.

Has anyone beaten anxiety issues? Will I be like this forever?

Edit: Went to my dentist, they looked at it, they are sending me to a specialist tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Edit 2: got scheduled for surgery today, they think they can save the tooth.

Edit 3: Surgery was not that bad.

38 comments

Perhaps you are feeling guilt or shame about that period of your life. Accepting it as such, forgiving yourself and truly embracing how far you've come since then may help alleviate some anxiety you have. I do understand this is harder said than done and these are things I'm currently working through myself. All the best, my friend ❤️
- I'd suggest "acknowledging" the issue exists, rather than aiming to "accept" it, can be a helpful distinction. "Accept" implies you are okay with something, and that might make acceptance difficult. Semantics are weird...
  
  Absolutely! Great point, thank you! 😊
  
  I don't follow
- I think you wrote the perfect response. I wish you the best with your journey.
I cracked a molar years ago and I was too broke and underemployed to get it dealt with. As time went on it slowly rotted away in the back of my mouth. I was already depressed and dealing with it just wasn't a priority. It just became a part of my life and I would chew on the other side without thinking and eventually the pain just went away because I was stubborn and I think my brain just stopped recognizing those signals. It was bad.
Last year I went to get it extracted and as I was talking to the dental hygienist about it she said something that I really liked and I was actually really surprised at the compassion from a dentist's office.
I've always tried to be open about my mental problems because the world needs to lose the stigma we've placed on it. I'm not ashamed by any of it, but I definitely understand why many are. So when I told her that I'd spent several years dealing with depression and taking care of my teeth just wasn't a priority at that time, she said "Hey, it's alright. Sometimes we have to let some things go to survive whatever we're dealing with. But you're able to take care of it now and we're gonna help with that."
You did what you had to do to deal with your anxiety and you should be proud of that. It's not easy, but try not to view the tooth as a reminder anymore than a messy kitchen is a reminder that you were too busy to do the dishes yesterday. It's just a result of a thing that millions of people go through every day. You're taking care of it just like you'd wash those dishes, and then you're going to move on with the rest of your day. I still have that empty spot in the back of my mouth and honestly, I forget about it even as my tongue pokes at that empty spot sometimes. This is the first time I've even thought about it in months and months, and it's been about a year since it was removed. As for after, depending on where it is, you might not really notice soon after. Generally there's like this plug of congealed and scabbed blood in the spot that you have to be careful with the first week or so, but I didn't experience any pain.
My own anxiety had my blood pressure sky high when they first went in and they couldn't do anything yet so they gave me a while to calm down and one of the hygienists was there and explained to me what to expect afterwards. She assured me it wouldn't even be noticeable and she was right. But you should be able to ask them as well to get a professional idea for your expectations to assuage your worry. But also, just from experience, I can say that it'll be fine, you'll stop noticing and stop thinking about it once there isn't something in your mouth that you always have to be aware of.
- "Hey, it's alright. Sometimes we have to let some things go to survive whatever we're dealing with. But you're able to take care of it now and we're gonna help with that."
  That hit a bit hard. I'm heading over to the dentist now, but I think this is what I needed to hear.
I've had 7 teeth pulled, and they ain't no thang.
Okay, well 4 were wisdom teeth and 3 were baby teeth (I had fucked up teeth as a kid). I was awake for the three, and I didn't think they were a big deal. They put numbing cream on my gums, then gave me a numbing shot in my gums, which is hardly felt at all. I didn't feel them pull my teeth at all. It hurt a lot afterwards, but it was manageable with mild painkillers. The pain didn't last long. When I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled, I was eating a burrito and helping my sister move just a couple days later.
I've always had anxiety issues, and got to the point of panic attacks before I got help. my psychiatrist says that breakthrough anxiety is normal, when there's something especially stressful. it's not something to beat or get past.
since it seems like part of what is causing (perfectly natural) anxiety is that you don't know what to expect, why don't you reach out to the dentist to ask what to expect? maybe do a little research, if that won't send you panicking about the worst case scenarios you come across?
anxiety helps us look and plan for all sorts of future scenarios. if you can't eliminate it, try to direct it into things you can plan and prepare for. and if it's still interfering a lot with your life, talk to your Dr about changing the meds.
- I will be reaching out today. They open at noon.
  
  And to add to what this user said, planning is also key. Its actually what led my to realizing that my (really bad) ADHD was exacerbating my depressions and anxiety symptoms because I didn't have the native skills to deal with them. Not thinking about ADHD I just learned to plan literally everything as a coping mechanism for the anxiety. Weekends I'd plan the general things for the week, then every morning I'd write out a detailed version of that day's tasks, each broken down by parts. If it's a call I have to make, I write out a little script with key things I need to say/ask and maybe write out the whole sentence so I don't have to think about it mid convo, I'm just reading. Planning for as many things as I could like that really reduced the stress-load I'd deal in most scenarios.
extraction. I've had a few root canals and they always go bad after a decade. get it pulled sooner, before the infection kicks in.
I can describe one of my extractions - the one where I didnt get put under for. it was so rough that I happily paid for anesthesia the next time I needed an extraction. so I had a failed root canal, and it got infected, like my jaw started swelling up in just a few days. went to the dentist, xrays to see how to go about it. the roots on that molar were branched and hooked & there was a cyst in/under that (the infection), the dentist had to use a dremel saw (or whatever it was) to cut the tooth in half, vertically, then break it apart with pliers (special dentist tool but it looks like pliers to me) so she could get down to the roots and then used the pliers to sort of yank/twist the roots out. it was not a pleasant experience.
not being able to eat anything that wasnt blended to a paste for a few weeks was even less fun - you get to a point where you CRAVE texture. meds were pretty good though, killed the infection off fast and the 5x strength narcotic of some sort absolutely erased the pain for the week the prescription lasted for. once I could eat real food again I gorged on raw broccoli.
anyway, I eventually had a bone graft put where the tooth was and then a titanium post installed. havent gone back to get a fake tooth installed on there, it's super expensive and I've learned how to live without a tooth in that spot.
- I have a root canal from 20 years ago, still going strong, am I really an outlier? Were all yours done by the same dentist?
  
  the only two I had were performed by the same guy yeah. maybe his fault then I dunno.
- I was thinking the implant route too
  
  bone graft is definitely the way to go - if you get an extraction but no graft there's a chance your jaw can sort of cave in a little there - not really perceptible to people who have never met you but you will be able to see the difference in the mirror - so said my mother when I asked her about this, back when I had my extraction(s).
  you have to wait for the gum to fully heal, then the dentist can peel a bit of it back, pack the hole where the tooth's root was with bone and a growth matrix, then stitch it back up. 6+ months later on you can get a post installed, then you have to wait for that to heal before the fake tooth can be installed.
I like build and make things. There are often mistakes I made that no one else can see. For a long time that would really bother me, but that job was done and it was time to move on to the next thing. I had to change the way I saw those mistakes I made into evidence of where I had been and how I had grown. As long as I keep working at my craft and stay diligent, I can minimize my future mistakes while carrying with me the learnings from my past ones. I wouldn’t characterize your tooth as a mistake, but it’s a thing that happened that likely only you see (apart from your dentist I suppose - forgive the imperfect metaphor). It’s another part of the complicated story that is you, and that’s okay. Maybe if you’d like, it can become evidence of where you have been and how you have grown.
Keep your head up and be proud of the story that is you because it is you. I hope this finds you well.
It's hard to tell if you want to talk more about the tooth or the anxiety.
As for the tooth, it's not at all clear that they'll pull it. If you have an infection, so they might just drill it out, clean it out, and repack it like the original root canal. If you have a crown on it, they might have to pull that off and replace it. If they do have to pull it, the most likely thing is to do an implant, which takes a number of visits, but for me wasn't especially painful, and ends up looking just like a tooth with a crown, or better. One comment: if you have an active infection in your tooth, you absolutely should not wait to get it looked at. Those can easily get into the bone of your jaw and can literally be deadly.
As for the anxiety, it sounds like you did the right thing and addressed it with therapy and medication. It's important to remember that anxiety and depression are medical issues. No one feels shame or embarrassment about going to a doctor for a broken bone or a bad cut, but so many do for anxiety and depression. We've got to overcome that as a society. People avoid getting treatment or talking to their loved ones about those issues and that's not helpful. I'm glad your did it right - you should be proud about that.
- Both.
  It's definitely infected. I had perfect teeth before this. I brushed, flossed, went to regular check ups. The fact I am having these issues feel like my fault. During the pandemic I forgot to schedule an appointment. Then the anxiety issues made me just want to be reclusive.
  I don't feel shame in going to therapy. I used to go up until about a year ago where I was let go from my job. I probably should pick that up, but I want to go to a different therapist. The one I was going to was recommended by a coworker that I was friends with for 10 years, and all of a sudden ghosted by. So, I can't not associate that therapist with that person.
  
  Everyone gets tooth problems at some point, I wouldn't beat yourself up over that. If it's infected, you should really go in right away.
  Anxiety makes everything harder, including taking care of your anxiety. Hang in there!
Can I ask what your living situation is? I need to be oblique before I put together my thesis here.
- Well, I have a supportive wife and two pets. I live in a house. Work a full time job and two for fun jobs. Everything is genuinely fine here. The anxiety issues were likely caused when I worked my old old job.
Anxiety isn't necessarily bad. Its a form of energy to get through tough times. The thing is, it's supposed to be temporary, and it's not easy to determine the best action for tough situations. I have also gone through some pretty anxious times, also teeth grinding and meds. Please, be kind to yourself. You made it through and are still going! Look into getting night guards, if you can afford it to to an orthodontist for them and maybe fix any other issues that grinding caused. I'm not sure what meds you have but I would advise panic meds rather than longer term anxiety meds, but maybe sure they are not addictive (some doctors still prescribe xanax, which isn't a class of drug you want). Take panic meds before you go in for dental work, maybe the day before too depending on how you feel. I don't know what life has thrown you, but if you have the option, stop a few times a day and try and listen to your body and what you need. Sometimes it's food, sleep, rest (mental or physical), time to process what life has given you, a shower or bath, etc.
- I take a low dose of Klonopin which works. I'm pretty afraid to take them; I had friends tell me they are addictive. So my prescription bottle I think is from January for a month's worth. My doctor was actually happy to hear that I don't take them often; so they kept me on them (they were for as needed). I'm willing to try better alternatives. I was on an antidepressant zoloft, but it made me not feel great. I felt kind of like a robot after a while. It's what I meeded at the time, but I got off of them a year ago.
  I have no shame in admitting this stuff. As a friend once said, talking about it takes it's power away.
  
  Check out propranolol, gabapentin, and maybe go back and ask specifically about non addictive options. You deserve to not worry about taking anxiety meds.
  Klonopin is a type of benzodiazepine which are a class of drugs that kinda make you out of it, a little high even, or can knock you out. They are ok if you take them a couple times a month and shouldn't be addictive but might not help you perform higher functions (text taking) and are better for social panic or generalized panic where you would otherwise be immobile with fear.
  Propanol is a beta-blocker which is a class of drug used to treat high blood pressure. This is not addictive in any way, but will lose effectiveness if taken too frequently. I actually have lower blood pressure most of the time but this still works for me. When I panic I'll have disproportionate reaction from my body, and this calms all the unnecessary reaction. An example is, if someone startles me by walking quietly and then talking to me, I'll have a panic attack. I'm not anxious in the situation and nothing is scary, but I have a very immediate and extensive reaction regardless.
  Gabapentin is an anticonvulsant which is a class of drug used to treat unnecessary excitement in the brain. I haven't used this but it's also a good non addictive option.
  I've also found that I personally have a large capacity for energy, and anxiety was my body's way of releasing it. I've been able to decrease my anxiety proportional to the amount of cardio I do, up to about an hour and 15 minutes of moderate to intense cardio. Any more cardio and I don't notice a difference in my anxiety levels, any less and I do notice my anxiety more. I'll note that mild cardio doesn't work nearly as well. I usually aim for 400 kcal/hour minimum to get my desired results. Just be sure to have complex carbohydrates in your diet so you can get through the whole thing.

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