Crypto genius

"while your investment appreciates in value", hopefully.

Even if it loses 90% of its value it's still a win if the money came from credit cards you never paid back. Although the couple of hundred bucks you get might not be worth the hassle
- You will also be unable to take out any debt upon release. It's difficult to get credit as a released felon without a history of defaulting on debt.
  
  So, being generous and saying that he sees a 4% return on his investment, he'll have slightly more than he went in owing, and will be completely unable to even get a car loan, a decent job, or place to live.
  
  He will have turned 0 dollars in to a lifetime of hardship.

In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

Just so you know you don't need to go to prison in order to get your butthole destroyed. It's much easier to just go on Grindr, which is only an emotional prison.
- Fun fact you also don't need to go to prison for your crypto to depreciate!
- There is a different story here, hidden beneath the floor boards.
- Hell I've given my butthole quite the thrashing just sitting home by myself.
- Permanently Deleted
For most guys it's entirely possible to go to prison without getting their butthole destroyed, if that's not their thing. From what I've been told, there are plenty of willing partners in most prisons, so unless you're a truly weak and vulnerable person, provided you follow the unwritten rules and don't do anything super fucking stupid, you'll probably be fine.

It sucks that the weak (often mentally ill or intellectually disabled and so forth) get victimized in US prisons, but the inhumanity of housing such vulnerable people with known predators is by design and is a feature not a bug.

You'd still owe that debt. Unless you go to prison for live than the debt's statute length. Generally 7 years.

Also some jurisdictions make you pay for the privilege of going to prison.

Ymmv, choose your state of jurisdiction very carefully.

Also crypto is a bubble IMO.

IMO nothing, it's pure speculation powered by nothing but blind greed. If it isn't a bubble, then nothing is.
- You just described all economies
- How many bubbles pop 3 three times and then proceed to blow up bigger than the last time? I know of exactly zero. Looks more like an adoption curve when expressed logarithmically
Wait if you can avoid debt collectors for 7 years they just forget about you?? Like I could fuck off to another country where they can't garner my wages and come back and they can't do shit about it?
- It’s not that clearcut: they have various tricks to keep it alive, if they know where you are. This is why you never admit to a debt nor pay the token amount they offer; both are tricking you into legally claiming responsibility, so they can keep the debt alive
- Debt is super weird. In some cases you can have thousands very much just disappear after 7 years, in others they'll hunt you down mercilessly over a $25 copay they mailed you a "this is not a bill" letter about 2 years ago. My wife was pretty deep in debt when we first started dating and I literally have seen both extremes and everything inbetween.
Don't pay and ignore collectors.... Profit
Couldn't you just leave the country and disappear somewhere with a low cost of living? Not like anyone can catch you moving crypto across borders.

I think you would make more money if you gave handys behind the Wendy's dumpster every day for 7 years.

> Realise you still owe the credit card debt.

Declare bankruptcy!
- I didn't just say it, I declared it
Just commit a crime with a longer sentence than your state's statute of limitations.
- Commit crime, be on the books, get served in jail, be unable to appear in court, get a default judgment against you.

You already fucked up in step 2

Come to that you fucked up in step 1. Do you really think the credit card companies are gonna let that debt just sit there not accruing interest and not send debt collectors to your house while you're in jail?
- Not if you sell your house to buy more crypto ;)

Let's go one further:

Get turned into a vampire
Buy crypto
Go sleep in your coffin for 100 years
???
Profit

~~5. Profit~~

Realize it's at 0$

Cry

Remember you bought doge because Elon Musk said so

Cry

Most sane crypto bro

I mean if I had gone to jail right after I bought any of my crypto I'd be doing better. Sadly, it makes more sense to pull the crypto than default.

I think I had less than a cent of bitcoin and managed to pull 20 later (almost all of it) then another 20 later. Huge percent profit.

You'll have to somehow launder that crypto first.

You probably wouldn't need laundered crypto, but you would need to be able to hide it from the bankruptcy court. This only works if you can clear the credit card debt.
Monero doesn't need to be laundered.
- It does if you want to spend it in any meaningful way
BitTornado.
- That sounds like a sketchy af bt client lol. "download up to 5x faster and get 69 more boobies per porn with our downloader!"
You just use it to buy drugs so you don't have to use your other money for drugs. Kinda like how you use your dirty cash for filling up your car, paying for groceries, contractors... You can basically build an entire house with cash and then sell it and pay taxes and shit.

What country does anon live in, where prison food and housing is free?

a country that has any reasonable human rights?? well unless you mean "free" in the general sense in that someone does have to pay for it even if not the prisoner...
- (The shithole states charge prisoners for room and board)

I know someone who did this. Now, He is in Loss.

~~:.|:;~~

Someone actually did this, then built a nuclear fallout shelter in their backyard in the middle of some city, but he did it all redneck and it blew up or something while building an underground generator or something and killed a 17 year old kid, he went back to jail, got out after another crypto spike, tried to cash out and immediately got sued by the family of the dead kid for wrongful death and got sued by the IRS for back taxes. It's a fucking rabbit hole of a story.

do you have a link?
- https://darknetdiaries.com/episode/39/

the IRS TAXMAN finds out and resizes anons rectum in search of the missing funds

nah, you just claim to have used it on drugs, fits well with the go to prison for a while bit
- Hi yes, Mr drug dealer. Do u take credit?

Fuck 4chan

Fast and easy way to contract a disease. Wouldn't recommend

Be me

so if you go to prison all your debts are forgiven?

After 7 years in the US all debt falls off. So if he's in prison for 7 years, yeah it'd all go away.
- Well, not exactly. The debt is still there, they just can't force you to pay it. Exceptions apply, like student loans, and they can probably still claim property in the case of bankruptcy or inheritance.
  
  Also your credit score is going to tank hard.
- All*
  
  *(Except government debt, and student loans.)
- So if he goes to jail for only 5 he would still owe the bank? lol

your eyes are still too big

“take out credit card debt” sounds so goofy like you’re going to the debt store and getting a receipt

I still don't get how the punishment for any crime is to not have to work or pay rent... Maybe there's something to this whole life of crime thing?

I think you'll find there some other downsides too
- Ya know, what's a stabbing every few months?
In certain U.S. states they send you an itemized bill for your own incarceration.
You have to work and pay rent in prison.