The Clock
The Clock
53 comments
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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.
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The boss makes a dollar,
I make a dime
That was a poem
From a simpler time.Now my boss makes a grand
While I make a cent
And he's got employees
That can't make the rentWhen the CEO makes a million
And we don't make jack
That's when we riot
To take it all backNow Mr investor
If this seems extreme
I have to remind you
It sure beats the guillotine
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Don't give companies ideas ( written from the bathroom at work)
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(I like how you're on Lemmy during that time (and how that gives you plausible deniability if somebody asks if your bathroom breaks need to be 30 minutes because you're on reddit))
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Boss makes a dollar I make a dime why I poop on company time.
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If I can clock in on the shitter that's where I'd clock in every morning
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"Nate, we need to talk about your login locations."
"What's wrong with me logging in on the China? Why is there a clock if it shouldn't be used?"
"Nothing wrong with that, pal. But could you tell us why it's the gents' room on Mondays, the ladies' one on Tuesdays, the disabled's one on Wednesdays, the shitter in my private apartment on Thursdays and seemingly King Charles' private golden toilet in his fox hunting hut near Essex on Fridays?"
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53 comments
one of the better ideas I’ve heard recently is that commute time should be included in clocked hours
It seems silly to incentivise long commutes.
Why pay someone that drives an hour each way more than someone that cycles to work in twenty minutes?
In that example, based on a wage of £20ph, the driver would be earning £6,666 per year more than the cyclist, that's nearly an additional £300,000 over a 45 year career.. You'd be an absolute idiot to not sell your house and move as far away from your work as reasonably possible.
People always bring up this objection, but it's extremely solvable: just pay employees for their travel respective to the median commute time for that area. Sure, people who live close get a little bonus and people who live far away get slightly less; but it removes all impetus to game the system and helps people who need it.
What kind of stupid question is that? Just walk two hours instead of cycling twenty minutes! Duh!
Why mention cycling?
In that case it would be "drive one hour or cycle 4"
Do you mean to suggest the company should hire folks who live closer, period? That is more logical
The operative task is minimize commute.
In most cases a car would be the fastest commute, even if you live close. (Assuming a non hyper dense urban environment)
Why not just pay the price of gas plus maintenance costs then? But I would be for the same wage for commutes because that's time that the individuals don't get back in their life.
Or you could just go remote if you can
You would also account the gas and maintenance of the car that needs to drive that much. Also, now you are doing "overtime" every day. Thanks no thanks.
Maybe we should just have shorter work days or 4 day work weeks so that everyone isn't just insanely burned out from the rat race.
congratulations! companies now have motivation to hire people as close as possible to the workplace, as well as fire those who live further than everywhere else!
those optimizing fucks would run that idea into the ground, i think
Don't you dare destroy my plan to move away from work to spend a full paid working day commuting!
well, other than no one can afford to live near the workplace
Elon already put beds in the twitter offices
This would be so shit, yeah.
In a later comment you imagine housing near the workplace to be an expensive way to boost your resume.
I imagine us one step closer to company towns. Housing thats owned and operated by an LLC connected to your workplace and housing issues and workplace issues become one and the same.
I don't see the issue - company towns worked out great, right?
...right?
...oh no...
...oh no no ^no ^^no ^^^no ^^^^no ^^^^^no ^^^^^^no
Can I still clock out to play into the breach or do I then actually have to work on my commute?
The company doesn't control how far away you live. Why should you get paid to listen to podcasts for two hours a day because you chose to live an hour away, and I only get paid for actual work?