2y ago

IDF: "If you have seen the movie Jurassic Park, you have seen the true objective of Hamas. You have seen what they will unleash on the world if not stopped."

The Lt. Colonel then left the stage without taking questions from pre-approved press.

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A dinosaur preserve from the river to the sea? Doesn't sound too bad, honestly.
- And what do you think they will do once they have resurrected dinosaurs in their hospital laboratories? They will unleash dinosaur jihad on the west. Only the IDF stands between order and chaos.
I need a refresher. Wasn't Jurassic Park about the hubris of a bunch of white people who loved building cages that couldn't keep the caged inside? And then brought a bunch of people to party near one of the enclosures before a terrible intelligence blunder allowed the caged to roam free and attack the partygoers? Didn't it end with the survivors fleeing the place and the caged taking over?
I'm just asking questions. I'm as confused as you!
- Amazing
- A perfect metaphor for the United States inshallah
- holy shit dyna-soar reference?
So Hamas will slowly evolve into birds?
- Imagine yourself in the anthropocenne. You step onto a street, and there he is. He moves like a bird, bobbing his head, and you keep still thinking his strategic warfare doctrine is based on combine arms like the Soviets. But no, not hamas. You stare at him and he just stares right back.
  And that's when the attack comes fwwwwwwwwwwp. Not from the front, but from the sides. The other two Hamas you didn't even know were there. You see Hamas uses coordinated attack patterns, and is out in force today.
  
  IDF: Look, they're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive ... they smell
  Reporter: They do not smell.
  IDF: Some of them smell.
  Reporter: Oh, give me a break!
  IDF: Hamas Babies smell!
- No longer needing paragliders as each new generation contains more and more dinosaur DNA.
- the paragliders were the first stage of that
Oh man, oh man, oh geez. I didn't worry enough when they said Hamas was a Voldemort, but they didn't tell me Hamas was a T-Rex! They must be stopped!
- clicking to the next slide, the audience gasped as the Lt. Col. displayed a picture of a gigantic ape on the Empire State Building holding a white woman. He began to sob as he tried to get through the sentence, "this is what Hamas wants."
  
  Well, now I'm confused. I'm actually pro-giant ape, so maybe Hamas isn't all that bad? I hate all this thinking stuff! I wish someone else could just do it for me!

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