A lot of societies problems would be solved if they taught about forming healthy relationships in school.
Right now there is a loneliness epidemic throughout the world. More and more people aren't entering relationships. Gen Z men are having significant trouble dating while there are some economic factors in the mix. From my own view and experiences combined with what I've read most Gen Z men are lack the social and communication skills to even enter a relationship. This has and in the future will lead to extreme issues. There's already been a marked rise in hostility towards women by young men (think Andrew Tate and his ilk) that's likely born out of this frustration. I would definitely say there's been a rise in gender hostility ever since the pandemic.
Back in the 50s there was arranged marriages. All a person had to do was just show but now that's gone because it was an unequal system and I think society missed its chance to establish something much healthier and better in its wake. Now we have people that are unable to connect with each other. We just toss people blindly into the mess that is human interaction and relationships and no one knows what to do anymore. We could be have the most fulfilling relationships humans have ever had. Think of the amount of people who would of never have entered abusive relationships had there been someone around them that showed them what love exactly is.
The way we teach is so heavily focused on teaching people how to be worker drones that we forget the human part of the person. This is why a lot of people who do extreme well in school and college fare so poorly in relationships and have higher rates of depression. We are the most educated and advanced in human history, we know psychology, we can teach this shit rather than tossing people blindly into the meat grinder.
I would like to see people educated how to argue without getting personal. And how to communicate that you aren’t in a mood to argue right now, because you’re angry and wouldn’t listen.
This isn't just an issue in terms of romantic relationships, or gender-specific.
We used to all be exposed to the same media and had common points of reference and interest. It was called water cooler discussion. Unless you're into sports, this doesn't really exist any more.
We used to share a more common set of customs. Schools used to have etiquette/finishing classes. Was a lot of it ultimately arbitrary and made up? Of course, but we were all taught the same things, and they became a common language. You knew to take off your hat/glasses when talking to me to show a level of courtesy and respect, and I knew you were showing respect when you did that. This also worked in terms of things like knowing when to adopt a formal tone with others... many people don't have a formal tone any more, let alone know how to use it.
Everyday life thrust us into more social interaction, too. You used to have to go to stores, talk to people. Even public transport and public spaces used to be a social experience before everyone buried themselves in their mobile phones and headphones. Now the majority of people left trying to interact with you in public are weirdos or trying to sell you something, so people assume anyone approaching you in public is a weirdo or trying to sell you something, suddenly it is taboo to even try to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
And modern outlets like social media encourage some of our worst tendencies. Everything escalates into outrage, tribal warfare, makes us really bad at self-moderation and letting things go.
The-way-things-were was never ideal for a minority of people, but the way things are is ideal for no one. I strongly believe even the innovations that are supposed to help a lot of minorities are hurting them to a degree, too. I fit into a couple of those minority categories myself, and have to force myself to go outside, to use manned checkouts, to put away my phone when outside, as while the alternatives may be easier in the short-term, in the long-term they are making me both physically and mentally less-resiliant.
Schools should formally teach a lot of basic life skills these days like budgeting, manners, cooking, hygiene, sex ed — because a lot of parents aren’t doing this anymore.
Yoga (one of my niece's school teaches them basic yoga)
breathing / meditation
conflict resolution
critical thinking skills / logic
relationship skills eg knowing your self-worth, knowing how and when to say no, knowing about your own body and that it's inviolable. If my youngest niece doesn't want to give me a hug goodbye and her mum says "go on give your uncle a hug" I always make a point of saying it's fine, she doesn't have to hug anyone she doesn't want to
Relationships are discouraged through school, in favor of competition, so we can be more effectively exploited by the elites (and all hierarchical societies). That is by design. Healthy individuals with good relationships are harder to sell to and to exploit. It's relatively hard to convince someone who is satisfied with their life and image to buy something. It's a lot easier to convince them to instead seek emotional satisfaction through excessive buying (escapism). Each new item (or service) you get can temporarily fill the emotional void and provide a fleeting sense of excitement or comfort.
As you are talking a lot about men, I would say we need to talk about toxic masculinity. Which means basically antisocial, competetive, emotion-suppressing, "talk about things instead of feelings" traits.
Which also is a huge thing capitalism feeds. Noone gets admired for having a healthy relationship with their parents or a few very good friends, but for damn shoes or minicomputers with glass, cameras and sensors everywhere, nobody knew they needed a few decades ago.
So capitalism with ads everywhere and consumerism instead of real values is a huge factor.
If you dont have your own TV, you have to share. No own books, you need to go to the library. No own car, you share it with others.
This is so "uncomfortable", while it would make people meet lots of new friends. I always make nice accquaintances in the train.
We just toss people blindly into the mess that is human interaction and relationships and no one knows what to do anymore.
I mean, to be fair, that's kind of always been the case to some extent. Not that it's an excuse or a good thing to have, of course.
It is true that schools don't teach many or any life skills, and it's unfortunate. Schools should also teach budgeting and real day-to-day life stuff but they just don't.
I think people focus way too much on romantic relationships. And many seem to see them as their lazy ticket out of loneliness.
If you want to improve social skills and alleviate loneliness people have to start and grow healthy communities, friendships and family bonds.
Capitalist thinking has reached interpersonal relationships. Instead of seeking community, people focus on how to optimise their dating market strategies and such. That's pretty fucked up.
I think that's also the reason why people lack interpersonal bonds. Investing into communities, friendships, relationships doesn't fit into a world that is focused on linear progress and material gain. Applying this type of thinking (success, optimization, comparison, ...) seems to lead mostly to resentment.
But community is not something you can teach, I think. You can facilitate it by providing opportunities for community building. Like the so called third place and enough time for people to get together casually.
Ultimately it's something we inherit from generations before, though. And we only stray ever further from it. It's in our hands now to do it in our lifes, online and in our neighborhoods etc.
I have a stepdaughter (16) and for a few years now she's been saying they really need a finance and life skills class. We're teaching what we can to help with that at home, but a class for it would be a no-brainer. Interpersonal skills could be part of this same class.
A lot of blind courage is also missing. People used to answer to a lot of blind requests in a way that demanded a leap of faith and an effort to establish their own character. It also had a healthy dose of just wait and see. These days people can weasel out of uninformed situations quite a lot. So, we lean to shallow decision models with fewer good intentions accordingly.
most Gen Z men are lack the social and communication skills to even enter a relationship
Interesting choice of words. I'd say it borders misandry.
I don't think that decrease in social skills of the younger generation influenced solely boys.
That being said it's definitely a greater issue for them, since they are expected to initiate and organize almost everything in the initial phase of relationship. Maybe that's what you meant.
What I've seen (in admittably limited experience) is a decrease of skills all over the board combined with lack of patience and will to improve together.
"But I love Kristy, and nothing will change that". It's not a rational, teachable topic. Which is why we teach contraception instead of abstinence. Tack on teaching financial well-being if you wanna improve odds of healthy relationships.
You should include what country you are talking about. I know nobody in the USA who had an arranged marriage in the 1950s. They met partners at school, church, and neighborhood/extended family picnics and parties for the most part. They met in stores, libraries, and cafes. We have to maintain public casual community spaces. To paraprhase a Sociology professor I once had: you can't marry someone you never meet. It requires talking to other humans to make even casual friends.
There is some merit in the suggestion. Is there a country we can look to who already has some efforts here in their educational system like maybe Japan?
I think most of our issues are less about education, although it can certainly minimize, and more about how some members of society are wired. Not all brains are the same and some see the world in a more us versus them way.
Back in the day someone's father would teach their son's how to court a woman. I had no real father figure growing up but I was lucky to have met my wife in highschool. I recently asked my grandmother how my grandfather courtes her and it was actually so simple.
Nowadays men and women have unrealistic expectations of each other and what relationship should be. Social media is also put a divide between us and how we communicate with each other from a very young age.
On top of this men have become afraid of failure when it comes to talking to women. This a long with social media saying you are a creep for taking a shot men have been crippled in their confidence.
I believe that social media should not be available to kids and young adults until adulthood. I believe that social media prevents people from socializing properly. Face to face communication with both sexs is crucial for humans.
You are unfairly holding the entire world to your personal myopic standards. Romantic relationships don't hold the same importance for everyone (they aren't even held as positive by many orthodox communities of the world), and the fact that more people have started to avoid having them just out of convention in the West may even be a good thing. Who are you to denounce every single man as someone sick or deficient? Why does the existence of a relationship have to be tied to a person's social skills or standing?