What is a good adhd hack for those cases during which you want to do a million things but are paralyzed and can't?
I have so many things I want to do but just can't. Play a video game, read a book, take dog for walk, build a gadget I bought parts for, finish writing a song, finish building a computer... But no, I just sit there stuck. How do I get unstuck?
Drugs. Amphetamines specifically - doctor managed, not street level self medication. Then flip a coin and take one step in any direction.
I have a list, and if I can't do thing N, I try to do thing N+1.
Works somewhat ok for me, I don't know if it could help.
I've been there and felt a lot of guilt for not doing all the things I wanted to.
One thing that helped was stopping to think about why I wanted to do each thing. A lot of the time, it was just impulsive and led to an overwhelming list that kept me stuck in the same loop.
Reflecting on what I actually cared about made it easier to focus and follow the other suggestions here. Not exactly what you asked for, but worth considering.
One thing that helped was stopping to think about why I wanted to do each thing.
Boom. This was big for me too. Usually my issue is holding myself to non-existent time constraints, like "I want to do X but I have to get Y done or I can't until next weekend." Ok, why is it a problem that Y can't be done next weekend? Obviously if it's something like a chore or errand it doesn't apply, but if it's just a little side project I've been working on, Y can wait if I'd rather do X, especially if I'm just going to sit and wallow over not doing either instead.
Mise en place. If you're not familiar, it's a practice in cooking to have everything you will need set up and ready before you begin. You can do it with other kinds of tasks, too. I find it way easier to prep for tasks than to just do them. And prepping makes it mentally easier to just transition into doing.
one thing that can sometimes work for me is to just commit to 5 minutes. Set a timer and see what i can do in 5 minutes and if i want to stop i can.
Pomodoro timer. It's been my go to for a decade.
This is different to a pomo timer but yeah those work great
I found that picking something really small and succeeding helps motivate me to succeed at other things I want to accomplish.
What works for me is starting on an easy and rewarding chore first. With ADHD, the promise of distant rewards are a poor motivator. What works is to incorporate the reward into the first task and you will find its easier to move on to the next task. I.e., take the dog for a walk, but grab an icecream/coffee/beer whatever while you're doing it. Think about the the things you will do next while you're on that walk. YMMV, but this is how I do it.
If you are undiagnosed and unmedicated, you can try a very strong cup of coffee, or an energy drink. Ritalin is also a stimulant, and caffeine has similar effects.
Beware though, if you consume caffeine regularly, this won't work.
My recommendation: drink only water on normal days, drink very strong caffeinated drink in case of emergency.
It does give you a headache later in the day, and/or the day after, so keep that in mind.
Make a list of shit you want to get done. Do one tjing on it.
While youre busy not doing that youll probably get some others done.
Make a list, do the first thing you put on it. I figure whatever I think of first is what I subconsciously want to do most and anything is better than nothing.
I motivate myself by being my own drill sergeant. I run myself into doing things by not letting the voice in my head push me into nothing. I force myself up and out. Bike rides, walks, and other hobbies I use to calm myself. I don’t let my demons stop me from doing nothing. Unless it’s recharge time. Then I’ll give myself a break.
Holy cow, all your todos sound very very similar to mine!
I've been there far too often and beaten myself up for not doing anything to no help at all. After I finally dragged my "lazy" ass to the doc being depressed af and got a diagnosis i understood how bad i was. Now i have methylphenidat (Ritalin uno extended release) i can actually do something. I would never be able to do what i can now without it. I cannot see any other way or any technique that can work as well as my meds without also feeling like beating and wipping myself along at the same time. The meds makes the beating and wipping unnecessary and im just more happy.
I hope you find a way, but if you know you have adhd and you have trouble please go talk with your doc about it.
I'm sorry but I have no other recommendations than meds that I can confidently say will have a lasting effect. Then while on meds you can hopefully gain some new strong habits that over time can minimise the need for them, but learning those same habits without, will be nothing but self torture.
speed.
Use sparingly. Too much power in that.
Lay down for a minute, close your eyes and just let your brain babble about shit for a bit. Then, pick one at random and try to start it. Maybe try to find something engaging to think about, because then you'll be more comfortable with doing stuff.
The struggle is real. I’ve tried lots of stuff, with variable rates of success. No clear method to solve this issue reliably, but a couple things you can try:
-make a quick list of 4 or 5 items you think you might want to do, rank them by time estimated to do them or get into them. Starting with a quick one often gets some juices going, and may make doing a more involved task easier to tackle.
-pick something random, set a timer for 25 mins, and agree to yourself that regardless of progress or outcome, you’re going to mess with random task only for 25 mins. The short time limit allows your brain to counter the idea that you’ll be wasting time if the task isn’t the right one and missing out on the opportunity to do a more fun engaging activity. Limiting distraction devices, depending on what you’re trying to get into here, can be helpful to avoid distraction
-if other things aren’t working, and the paralysis is there, I often decide that I need to move somewhere else, or lie down for a shorting, etc. basically you tell yourself “you don’t have to do anything, but you can’t just sit here spinning or thinking about it—take a Nap or a lie down and do breathing exercises for 10 mins. Sometimes after doing this, changing location/and mental spiral process, I’ll find I have the juice to actually start something.
-along the same lines, have a couple of neutral but basically “always beneficial” activities in your head that you can use as a way to shake things up. Going for a quick walk will almost never be a useless act (you get exercise, maybe daylight or some greenery, your eyes get to focus on stuff farther away than 3’) or playing with a pet. I often find no matter what I’m spinning about a walk or something physical activity can help change things up and reset my mental state a bit, and if not, well I still did something beneficial for myself; I got some movement in.
-the pet one reminds me; often having an activity that involves another creature, whether human or animal, can be motivating. I might not be able to motivate to go for a walk on my own, but when I combine it with the fact that my dog will enjoy and needs to go outside, that can throw it over the threshold.
-standard advice about breaking things into smaller parts—if you really want to set up that new gadget, but you constantly do like me and imaging that the task can only be satisfyingly complete if you fully install, on figure and get it working precisely as want, you may avoid the activity because you intuitively understand that it’s unrealistic in the time you have. Instead, try telling yourself: just get it unboxed, and maybe plugged in. I can configure it other time.
-Alternatively if I have task I’m procrastinating on a lot, sometimes I try and grease the wheels so to speak—I agree that I’m not going to replace that faucet in the bathroom, but what I am agoing to do is go collect the tools I’ll need into a bucket, and place it congenitally so that when I do feel like tackling the faucet, I won’t wave off after getting overwhelmed thinking about the prep I have to do.
-try visualizing why you want to do activity x. Sometimes these things can devolve to the level of chores, so that what was intended as a hobby/fun activity can begin to read as an obligation with shame attached “I never built that stupid model that I spent all that money on…” try to think of how doing the activiy might make you feel in a good way, or what skills you wanted to explore by doing it. That kind of reframing seems simple, but can sometimes be powerful in changing your approach. Also, sometimes you realize that you don’t really like the activity or want to do it, but feel obligated to continue sine you’re feeling shame about how you “never properly follow through”. I don’t advocate for just quitting things when they get challenging, but you simply can’t do everything., and some things just ain’t going to be your cup of tea. I joined a virtual flight sim squadron once, and while it was initially very neat and educational, I found myself starting to dread the scheduled get togethers. I stuck weeks longer than I should have out of a fear of “Being a quitter” until I finally realized that I was only showing up to not quit, not because I was enjoying my time. Once I realized that and ended my involvement in the activity, I felt such a huge relief…
-when in doubt; cull. A lot of times my task-paralysis will spring from having too many things on my plate to choose from, or an unrealistic idea of what could be possible. I’ve been working on forcing myself to pare down, maybe. I started with 5 options, but since I know I can’t do all 5 things, I need to make the decision space smaller. You can try randomly moving stuff into the future, or do A/B testing: “if I had to chose between the first and second task, do I have a strong feeling between the two?”
-if you feel discouraged and stagnant, take a moment and think back and see if you notice areas that youe improved with over time—maybe you astarted a hobby 3 years ago, and dipped in and out, and maybe you’re actually better at it you used to be.
-and of course, the most important and sometimes hardest thing: let yourself off the hook. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do anything, and even if you stare at a wall for 30 minutes, that’s not a “waste” or useless. Work on reducing self-shame. Accept that you may have to rotate in and out of hobbies and activities to progress, and that that’s fine. Accept that this acceptance will always be a work in progress and you will likely never become the worlds number one swordsman or able to manipulate objects with telekinesis after mastering your mind by studying Buddhist meditation techniques. Whenever you can summon the awareness to do it, be kind to yourself.
For me it is taking a topic that is not on my mind currently, making one goal in that, and trying to forget about everything that I wanted to do
Flip a coin, write things on note cards and draw randomly, ask someone which one to to, or any other method of making a choice. The hard part is making that decision and not letting yourself get stuck thinking about what you could have done instead.
Although I have had solid success in using mindful meditation to work on making decisions and sticking to them, it gets really hard when things are stressful and this weekend wasted half a day with decision paralysis despite taking meds and starting the decision making progress. It won't always be successful, but it sure helps to work on making decisions and sticking with them.
Take your meds and all of that falls into place.
Edit: If your meds aren't helping then either they're not the right meds for you or it's worth talking to a therapist to help unwind what's causing you to be nonfunctional. Meds aren't a one size fits all thing no matter how much a prescribing doctor may think they are, many people end up trying 3-4 different medications before they find one that works.
Imake a list and number them and then go on random.org and have it choose an integer and then i do the the thing on the list that matches the number randomly chosen.
This way i’m not making a decision, the lord of chaos is.
This except for the dog walk. Don't make the dog wait!
My wife has a dog too. With the large fenced in yard, they are good to go. They can run faster than I ever will. It's more about the bonding part.
Tried it, not a great success... The only result is making me not want whatever was chosen anymore.
My brain has this awful tendency of going "I could have done it a minute ago but now that someone else told me to I can't anymore"
If you flip a coin and don’t like the answer that just means you already decided but didn’t realize you had decided.
Also with the list. Just not the random thing. I pick a small thing off the list and knock out, that sense of accomplishment helps me knock other things off the list.
Python and other programming languages can do that too, if the person also wants everything offline, and/or can't focus while waiting for webpages to load.
Been using that myself and though not ideal since too many concurrent interests, it helps a bunch.
If the person doesn't know how to code, just ask some of those AI tools available around. If on Windows, the person could even ask for the AI to make a .bat script that only exits after pressing enter or the sort, to be as straight-forward as possible.
This is a good one! Thanks!