Trump shocks advisors showing up drunk to security briefing.

"It's just not like him, someone who doesn't drink, to suddenly break bad and pick up the bottle" senior advisor Dan Bongos said to Axios.

A drunk Mr. Trump was spotted on the south lawn of the White House in his underwear.

"Folks, folks, Israel and Iran, we can't stand them, they STINK!" "I hate them, I want them gone, GONE." Trump muttered to reporters in-between bouts of vomiting and tripping over vodka bottles.

Axois has just learned that Trump is checking into a rehab in upstate New York for a sixth month program. JD Vance has assured the public he will assume the role of president and end the conflict.

"And I never had sex with a couch, okay, it's a lie." He added.