If there was a dark pattern competition...

I love being able to build my own site that works like a motherfucking website. This example is even simpler, but in general, unless I am actively adding products to a cart, your website shouldn’t do jack but display media. Tired of all this modern web shit that attacks you every time you open a page.

Looking at you, every news site in existence

What’s so refreshing about motherfucking website is that I feel no need to activate ”reader mode” just to make the site bearable. Basic HTML is perfect as it is.
- Holy crap, motherfucking website is beast! I love how simple and straight forward it is. Reminds me of the 90s before ad placement took over the entire internet.
- I built my own blog that way. All static generated, no JavaScript, no cookies, just enough CSS to get a nice dark mode look. Loads in 0.3 seconds on a modern connection, or around 10 seconds if you're on a shitty 2G connection. 370KB load, and about 270KB of that is a picture on a post that could be slimmed down if it used something more modern than jpeg compression.
This is my new favorite website, thank you
- Hold on to your hat
  http://bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com/
  and, you guessed it,
  https://thebestmotherfucking.website/
"Good design is as little design as possible."
some German motherfucker
Oh my beloved motherfucking website author, I do in fact remember when websites were good, it was about 15 or 20 years ago.. Sob (maybe more depending on who you ask)

In America cookies are called cookies but all other biscuits are also called cookies. In Australia lollipops are called lollies but all other kinds of sweets are also called lollies. I don’t really know where I’m going with this.

I don't either, but in America biscuits are savory or near flavorless, not sweet like cookies.
- They need to get better biscuits then!
- I do be wondering what a British person would call a Southern style US biscuit... Which is sweet (they're usually glazed with honey), but still not like a cookie.
English as a language was seen as too easy. So we decided to mix it up.
Why would you ever be the global language of trade and commerce and the go between for multiple nations, whose entire structure is a hodgepodge of latin, Germanic, and mistranslated root structures and made up rules, if you didn't decide to mix it up from time to time and region to region?
Embrace the bastard language standard. This is the way.
... Are you aware that 'loli', pronounced the same as 'lollie'... is art (usually drawn) that depicts sexualized or nude children, and ... fans of, or viewers of loli... are called lolis?
I am reasonably confident this is widespread internet terminology across the entire English speaking internet at this point, but you being Australian and... possibly not being aware of this... makes me question that assumption somewhat.
That or perhaps you're older than me?
... Uh, anyway, in America we have 'fries' or 'french fries', but seemingly every other English speaking country calls them 'chips'.
Which is confusing to the hungry, overweight, American brain, because what we call chips, ya'll tend to call 'crisps'.
But at the same time, we can't even agree on whether or not a sugary, carbonated beverage is called soda, pop, or just coke, used to refer to all soft drinks, not just coca cola.
- This is bizarrely off-topic.
  That is not how "loli" is pronounced--it's short for "Lolita", with a long "O" sound.
- in America we have […] 'french fries'
  And they aren't even french, they're belgian.

When you disable saving cookies in your browser, you'll get this all the time. YouTube is the worst offender, because it takes ages to load (not because of internet).

uBlock origin > config > enable all annoyances list

Alternatively, there's this: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/consent-o-matic/ (works on android)

Meme is true, sure, but that cookie looks effin delicious

GDPR says you shouldn't get a single cookie until you click the consent button. Try this: clear all cookies for a web site that has one of these banners, refresh the page and let it finish loading, and then see how many cookies you have for it before you consent to any.

Depends on the purpose of the cookie.
*third-party

I don’t think you understand what a dark pattern is.

Isn't it when ui/ux uses deceptive practices to confuse the user into doing something?
- Yes. It's when the UI leads YOU to do the thing you don't want. So unless the banner telling you that the site uses cookies is doing something to make you accept them when you don't want to accept them (such as by not having a button to not accept them visible) having cookies itself isn't a dark pattern.

Reject all.

Cookies are not inherently bad. How do you think identity and access management (logging into websites, etc) work?

Easy fix: Don't. I'll open KeepAssXC and manage my own access tyvm.
Sure. But why does a website want to place a cookie when there is no IAM involved like news sites, blogs? For ad Tracking!

are they called biscuits for co.uk sites?

Blame the EU. There, cookies used to bother a tiny number of "privacy advocates" who were already perfectly capable of blocking the cookies in their own browsers but they weren't happy because no one else cared about cookies so they got the GDPR passed to bother everyone in the world.

Not the EU's fault that all those websites want to invade your privacy.
The EU only demanded consent. That all those websites care more about marketing than about their users says more about those websites than it does the law.
- The EU only demanded consent.
  As in the meme...
  Me: I consent (to load the website using the cookie settings already in my browser).
  Website: I consent.
  Privacy busybodies and EU regulators: I don't.
I do find it funny when such a person makes complaints that the "keep me logged in" option never works for them, tho.
Any chance you are English, Polish or Hungarian?