New Pope just dropped

Damn he could've gone with Pope Francis II

Ask for pizza pope
Get burger pope instead
The fuck?
- This was bomb though. Like a cultural phenomenon.
  Although this variation was kinda cursed.
- Ask for karaoke pope
  Get deep dish pizza pope instead
- He's from Chicago, so he's more of a pie pope

looking for a new pope
ask the conclave if their papabile is cool or a pedophile shuffler
they dont understand
pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is cool and what is pedophile shuffler
they laugh and say “it’s a good papabile sir”
elect him
its a pedophile shuffler

Huh. Never thought it would end up being an old white dude.
- Amerikkkan no less

I am fully convinced Vance killed the Pope now. Needed to replace an anti genocide pope with a pro genocide American pope. It's the perfect crime
- https://xcancel.com/drprevost/status/1886469097560719594

God is Dead and JD Vance has killed them

Kind of boring pope name. Now the power move here would have been to take the name God I.
- Christ II would have been pretty bad ass as well.
- Peter II is a baller move too
  
  Opposite direction, what about John XII II?

Another lib pope, I just didn't expect an American pope.

Cardinal Prevost, now Pope Leo XIV, covers for pedophile priests.

Sorry guys it was me. I dropped the pope

Pope Leto II to guide humanity on the Golden Path
- Would god still love me if I were a worm
  
  Would god still love you if He were a worm?

Boring ass papal name. Call me when we get an Urban or something
- Pope Leo XIII (1878-1903)
  Greatest achievement: Known for his social encyclicals, especially Rerum Novarum, which dealt with the issue of workers' rights and the need for social justice.
  
  From a class collaborationist, conservative perspective of course.
  
  He was anti-communist "both sides" though.
  
  If I read the correct document earlier, Rerum Novarum had an extremely reactionary take on class struggle and essentially worshipped private property.
  
  Sorry still boring
- Pope Popey McPopeFace
- Leo is a decent pope name, but Lando > Celestine > Urban > Boniface > Sextus > Linus > Leo > Sylvester > ... Pius > John

Prevost earned a Bachelor of Science in mathematics from Villanova University in 1977.
the first STEMlord pope??
- Get yourself a pope who not only understands sin, but cos too.
- Francis was a chemist (I wonder if he could bless meth)

be me
\ praying because good catholic
\ want to do good, but world's shit
\ crisis of faith, ask god "why do bad things happen to good people?"
\
\
\ god hits me with "new pope, who dis?"

As bishop of Chiclayo, Peru, he objected to a plan to teach about gender in schools, saying, “The promotion of gender ideology is confusing, because it seeks to create genders that don’t exist.”
Some pedo apologist:
"No, you can’t do that. Think of the poor children."
Trans people:
"Haha, gender printer go brrr."

From what I can tell not the worst guy. Sort of a continuation of Francis though more moderate.
I’m sure he’s not great in like an absolute sense. Don’t really think any pope would be. Also I’m not a catholic so idrc what they do. But I just read a bunch of comments from a bunch of tradcaths malding about this choice so I’m happy.
- I'd be very cautious to jump to conclusions. Tradcaths were going to mald no matter who stepped out the balcony if it wasn't Robert Sarah or Erdo.
  I posted Rerum Novarum in the news megathread which was Leo XIII's encyclical touching on socioeconomic doctrine. TLDR it's a pretty gross misunderstanding of the socialist critique of private property. There's a possibility that Leo XIV wants to elaborate/iterate on that doctrine, for better or worse. And I don't know if the documents are real but these letters from SNAP regarding protection of priests who had committed sexual abuse are also concerning.
  
  I have seen the stuff about protecting pedophile priests. Obviously horrible, but it’s also the Catholic Church so I’m not really expecting great things from them. Iirc Francis was also not great on those things. Not really sure if this guy is worse, I don’t keep up on those things.
  Can you expound a bit on the Rerum Novarum? I’m not in a place where I can really read anything rn. I did look briefly at the Wikipedia page, it seems like it’s mostly some typical lib “we don’t like socialism but we’re also against ‘crony capitalism’” stuff. Is that generally correct?
  I wasn’t expecting some socialist or something in the papacy. But I suppose I’m coming from the perspective of seeing a lot of people hoping for the immediate rollback of the past 70 or more years of social progress after the election of Trump. Like a great worldwide mandate to return to the social order of old. And so even though this guy seems like just some basic moderate, not even as progressive as Francis (a low bar), the fact that he’s not completely against those reforms and in many cases supportive seems like not the worst outcome.

Is this guy also a Zionist
- I don't think so, he seems close with Francis, and seems like a lib. He also lived in Peru for a long time and was anti-fujimori (far-right dictator of peru during the 1990s), and he seems to really like Peru. He also said some anti-JD stuff on social media.

born in Chicago

They elected Chevy Chase for pope?
- glad im not the only one that saw that

I refuse to believe the Cardinals got together to elect a Cubs fan. Absolute nonsense
- Would have been so much funnier if the curse of the Great Bambino hadn't been lifted and the Cubs won it this year.