Transitioning in STEM
Transitioning in STEM
122 comments
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The experiences trans men and women have with misogyny will never not be fascinating to me. Like, for the first time ever we have this huge sample size of people who have experienced how their gender presentation affects how people interact with them, giving tangible proof of misogyny in action. And it can't just be swept aside with 'MaYbE tHe wOmEn JuSt miSuNDerStOoD' or 'mAYbe tHe mAN diDN't MeAn iT LiKE tHaT'. I mean idiots will still make idiot arguments but at least it chips away at them a little bit.
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I'm female presenting. I've known people who thought I was a cis woman for months, and I don't keep being nonbinary or trans a secret.
When I read actual cis women's accounts of misogyny, and also trans women's accounts, I can't relate. I don't get shut down the same way. Somehow, despite others perceiving me as female, I kept the tiny part of gender presentation that tells people to sit down and shut up when I'm talking as if I were a man. I don't understand what it is, but I still have it the same as before I transitioned.
I would love to know what it is so I can share it, but I can't tell why people respect me as much as they would respect a man. It's bewildering.
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You could be lucky too or maybe you don't notice the microaggressions.
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Confidence goes a long way, but maybe that is simplifying the experience too much.
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Hello it's me a trans woman. I knew before transition about some of it but never really understood. When I was masc I didn't realize how much of it was basically hidden in plain sight because of how I learned to socialize. After transitioning though omg it's everywhere. I'm in Seattle right now where I don't have to try too hard to pass and still get treated at least base line okay. Even then I still use my masc voice more than my femme voice because people take me more seriously when I do. Like there's a cultural acceptance of trans people here but if I behave more masc I get the privilege of being "one of the boys" even if I'm visually in full femme mode. It's all so weird
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I told one of my friends that I'm being looked at differently in crowds now, and he just said "no you're imagining it".
Many people just do not believe what trans people tell them. At all.
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Honestly people are probably just looking at you wondering if you are trans.
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In that specific case it might've been an answer to "Do you look at me differently now", brains like to short-circuit like that, and not everybody is comfortable speaking for the tribe. "Does the tribe like me?" -- "Well I do" -- "Does the tribe?" -- "I'm not the tribe".
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Women aren't believed, are you a trans woman? If so it could be either that you're a woman or that you're trans.
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(I hope not to misgender either but) bro, she knows. No need to mansplain it, read it again:
Many people just do not believe what trans people tell them. At all.
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I was adding to it, not explaining it.
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But is it because of being trans in general, or because of the direction of transition?
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Religon is probably what initially does this to people's brains
Indoctrinating children into religious systems of arbitrary hierarchy gives little boys god complexes and makes little girls into property.
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I feel bad for female-presenting people having experienced being treated worse than their male peers. I didn't grow up religious or anything, but I can sense where I could be perpetuating that hidden misogyny myself.
For example: In work and social life, I'll give my phone number away to people I meet. But I'm not interested in relationships, so I'm far less likely to give it to women, since I don't want to give anyone the impression I'm making romantic advances by doing that.
I'm pretty sure for men that aren't outright misogynist jerks or bullies, it's stuff like that where they feel as if they might be viewed as awkward providing professional favours to women when they wouldn't think twice about it for their male peers. That leads to those experiences that women find themselves unable to receive those opportunities to get ahead in their career, or aren't listened to, or have to advocate their position more when career advancement seems to fall more naturally to men.
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For example: In work and social life, I’ll give my phone number away to people I meet. But I’m not interested in relationships, so I’m far less likely to give it to women, since I don’t want to give anyone the impression I’m making romantic advances by doing that.
As someone who is relatively active in volunteering/local politics, I've been thinking about printing up some old-fashioned "calling cards" (like business cards, but not for a business). Maybe you could do the same, and seeing that giving out your contact info was such a routine habit of yours that you had a ready-made solution for it would stop women from getting the impression that you were leading them on?
...then again, maybe not. Hmm.
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Depends on where you are from, but the sort of thinking that gets people into religion gets people into misogyny even without religion in my experience.
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Misogyny is a religion. Religion isn't just myths and worship, it's also social orders and value systems.
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Oh my goodness yes! Not to mention the whole if you don’t dress “modestly” it’s your fault if you get unwanted attention thing. It’s a grooming ground.
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122 comments