I'm so vegan I could eat a burger and still be a vegan

    
Alt text:  
A simple infographic with cute white text on a pale pink background which reads:  
How to Level at Veganism  
Lvl 1* - No animal products in diet or clothing  
Lvl 2 - Talks kindly to plants before harvesting  
Lvl 3 - Politely negotiates w/ insects to relocate  
Lvl 4 - Avoids making noise to disturb animals  
Lvl 5 - Avoids breathing out CO2 near animals
Lvl 6 - Does not step on animal shadows  
Lvl 7 - Travels exclusively by stilts  
Lvl 8 - Never eats anything blown on by wind  
Lvl 9 - Only eats what has never been observed   
Lvl 10 - Refuses to consume anything that may have existed in the past or future  
*Honorable mention; not true veganism

47 comments

We should do one for regular diets where it goes from ignorantly contributing to animal suffering to torturing them yourself, then dying of diabetes and colon cancer.
- No no, that would hurt the feelings of the man-children that get triggered by vegans existing. They're too sensitive, they can't take it, it would be an act of cruelty towards animals that have no personal agency, which we all know is something vegans can't condone.
  
  How dare some people make an obviously correct moral decision that highlights my own inadequacies?
  Seriously though, I’m not even slightly vegan. I’m just also not a total fucking moron.
  
  Same boat. I'm not vegan, and I'll probably never be. I could genuinely see myself going lacto ovo, but honestly, that wouldn't be so hard for me if I only cook for myself. But, like, it is clearly the correct moral decision, and anyone arguing that is either misinformed or lying to themselves

47 comments