3mo ago

"Yes its a right dump, but its a large dump"

www.rightmove.co.uk

Check out this 3 bedroom terraced house for sale on Rightmove

Key features
Its a massive house
Its not that bad really!
Huge potential
No forward chain
Description
I am probably going to get sacked when the owner reads my description...but in the meantime we are running with it! Yes its a right dump, but its a large dump. And actually look a little closer and its not as bad as it may seem. There are number of replacement windows, has a modern fuse box and the roof looks good with lead flashing around the firewalls and chimney. And its big, offering a large sitting room, dining room, kitchen, conservatory, three bedrooms and an upstairs bathroom. The garden is pretty decent too. This is your chance to save Santa and bag yourself a bargain too! Offered for sale with no forward chain.

33 comments

A 1200sqft 3/1 is considered large? I guess I don’t know UK standards.
Also, what do they mean by “no forward chain”? Is that like a monthly HOA fee?
- It means the sellers are not buying a house using the proceeds from this sale. Usually means the sale will be quicker.
  
  Sounds like “no contingencies” in the US
- All relative, in a city (albeit not that desirable) the housing stock will be smaller so I suspect the agent means relative to other houses.
Our dump is a very, very, very large dump
With fountains on the wall
Santa used to be so warm
That price is insane considering how much work needs to be done to make it livable
- ...and that you'd have to live in Portsmouth :)
  
  😱
There are number of replacement windows
"1 is a number"
In all seriousness though I don't think it's fair to blame the estate agent for being terrible, guy is doing the best he can after getting handed a shit sandwich, but still being upfront about the condition.
I wonder how it smells... and maybe how many died there...
- Seeing the photos, and having been around way too many deceased estate properties, I can instantly smell the whole place.
  Damp, old plaster, manky carpets, and the bathroom that smells faintly of old wee and Imperial Leather.
Give it the benefit of the doubt, it survived the great war!
How bout that picture #3 tho
- Free sex doll, lightly used.
Is that a pink tub? Gotta restore that! I just got through restoring the pink tub in our old house and it's got so much character!
- could be worse i guess
  
  Knew what it was before I clicked! Great sketch
- I couldn't live with that bathroom, it'll have to go
  
  The bathroom in my first house had a full avocado suite (bath, sink, toilet and medicine cabinet) with a neon green shag pile carpet.
One bathroom for three bedrooms. That would never work for me. We'd have a school yard returning from recess line every morning for poop and shower time.
- Poop and shower? Waffle stomp?
  
  Eww yucky. I hope not.
The tankless water heater located in the shower is the best.
That's a lot of water damage
It definitely needs work but it's not that bad.
Not sure I buy that the roof is okay, with that peeling ceiling. I guess a tub or toilet could be above it.
$750k in Seattle area for worse
lmao I can't believe that line is actually in the description :D

33 comments