2w ago

Hakim on hookup culture and casual sex

44 comments

It sounds like a conclusion that is not easily backed by research. "Psychologically destructive" is incredibly vague, as is "the effect is cumulative" (it is confusing to even guess at what this is supposed to mean - that with each new partner, your mental health gets worse? there are absolutely people who have had many casual partners and are doing fine, and implying each new casual one makes it worse sounds vaguely patriarchal).
A lot of it most likely comes down to how a person views the sex and what they're doing it for. For example, if they're using it to achieve some fleeting sense of conquest or avoid confronting attachment issues, that's obviously going to be a strain on them. But that does not cover how everyone is going to see it.
- I did some reading in the meantime since I saw this post, and I'm surprised that there is alot of truth in what he is saying.
  His argument still has a patriarchal and prudist tinge to it.
  Edit: Why the downvotes? This is kinda reactionary.
  
  FWIW, I was not one who downvoted you. However, I am doubtful of the claim that there's truth in what he's saying. Not because of any suspicion toward you, but because I have trouble believing there's a clear way to frame "casual sex -> negative outcomes" in the first place, much less draw more than shaky causal links. At the offset, it would be a difficult thing to observe and study beyond (limited usefulness) self-reporting. And there are problems sometimes with psych studies that are like "we studied a few tens of college students" and it turns out it's highly relative to that region and age group they studied.
  On top of that, there is reason to be doubtful in general about positions that try to make scientific the taboo of sleeping around, considering the already-existing stigma it often has (is it coming from a null hypothesis place where it's trying to prove that there is no special link between casual sex and negative outcomes, or is it trying to use science to reinforce the taboo).
  And as someone else pointed out, since you didn't say where you did your reading, I can't check for myself and apply these doubts to the same sources. I suppose I could do my own web searches, but I might not find the same sources and might overly focus on ones that reinforce my doubts rather than giving a fair look to the contrary.
  
  I appreciate that.
  I'm very well aware of the stigma and stereotypes and patriarchal stuff related to people trying to shame others for sleeping around, and I didn't at all mean that in a negative way.
  I understand your concerns, and I appreciate your way with words.
  
  You did some reading... But you didn't tell us what you read so we can more easily investigate the literature for ourselves. That may be why you caught some downvotes.
  
  That's understandable, I suppose. My thinking though was that since I'm not a scientist, I don't think I could adequately summarize it, and even if I could, people would ask for the links anyway.
  
  Right... so you could post the links, then.
  
  I did.

44 comments