16h ago

Cybertruck Owners Are Asking Congressional Reps To Protect Them From People Who Don’t Like Cybertruck Owners

www.techdirt.com Cybertruck Owners Are Asking Congressional Reps To Protect Them From People Who Don’t Like Cybertruck Owners

There are many reasons a person might feel compelled to purchase a Tesla Cybertruck. Most of those reasons are tied to Elon Musk himself. If you like Elon Musk and think he’s a pretty cool du…

21 comments

So funny. What do they think will happen or change?
Even if this is passed, nothing will change. Also, pretty sure the whole 'attack on cybertrucks' is 90% online. So I recommend they just touch grass.

Aww, poor babies.

Is the fuck your feelings crowd getting their feelings fucked?
- Raw. he's getting his feelings fucked raw.

Can't deal with the free speech now, can they?

Just wait till they vote to add it as a protected class.

Just don’t buy a cyber”truck”? I am genuinely baffled why anyone would choose that over any other truck in America. There are so many better priced, and higher quality vehicles on the market.
- Because they want to be seen being a Nazi, but without the consequences.

Snowflakes
- Unfortunately, the impact of an actual snowflake on a Cybertruck will irreparably damage its finish.
  
  Snowflakes also block the Cyber trucks "uniquely" designed headlights

Government response should be.... "While the government sympathises with your plight and considers protecting its citizens a core duty, recent events have left the government under manned and thus powerless to protect those who cheer on the downsizing of the government until it directly affects them. Therefore please accept our apologies but until such time as staffing levels allow us to focus on anything but the absolutely vital functions of government which are already more than we can handle, we will not be able to offer you any support."
- Or just autoreply with a poop emoji.
- Just needed to add the “sending thoughts and prayers” at the end but otherwise perfect.
- "Due to government short staffing, created by the current Trump/Musk administration, we are unable to render assistance since you have a net worth of less than 100 billion dollars. We can however refer you to our private partner "Guard", Guard - the X in security, can be requested through X following an AI loyalty analysis of your Xeet history.
  Once approved for Guard services you can expect one part time Guard to protect your Tesla for two total hours a week."

Thoughts and prayers, anyone?

So I guess you don’t mind having to bury it if it catches fire, because they reach insane temperatures. Or the fact that raccoons think they are dumpsters.
- Raccoons are not unique in that regard. Or maybe I'm a raccoon?

Teslas are gross

21 comments