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  • Life is experienced only by those who live it. The thing that keeps me not going through with it, is literally FOMO. As much as life is filled with things that suck, and things that I hate, I know there is the very real possibility that something new will come along that I will have regretted not getting to experience.

    When I remember the things that I have experienced since the time I tried to kill myself I'm high school, I am glad I didn't. I would've regretted not making the new friends I did, and meeting the love of my life, and all of the the great times I've had, even though the shitty times that drove me to the edge, still persisted.

    When I remember the things that I have experienced since the time I tried to kill myself in college, I am glad I didn't. I would've seriously regretted missing out on the freedom of independent living, and the parties with friends, and precious memories I've made in that time.

    When I remembered the time I tried to kill myself after loosing my 3rd job in a row, and hanging on the edge of poverty for just one too many times, I'm glad I didn't. I would of seriously regretted missing out on buying my first house, and never getting to meet my baby girls.

    When I think now, that life is shit, and not worth continuing, I remember those past times and know that it was impossible to know what could've been ahead of me, and how glad I am I stuck around to find out. So I keep on struggling through, because I know that there's bound to be some unkown thing, at some unknown time, that I will definitely want to be around to see.

  • If you take your own life, things will never get better. It's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows if you don't, but it can get better. Ending your life removes all possibility of any good thing ever happening. But you'll never find out if you're not here to see it.

    It's a dark take to have, but it's just not worth it to cut the wire here. It can be hard, and things may seem bleak, but as long as you're still here, there's still a chance for life to get better, it often does, and it's a chance worth fighting for.

    It's easy to be caught in the here and now, but you can't predict the future even if it feels like it. Take the time you've been given and use it. All ending your life will do is end the chance for better things.

    The other thing is it's not a release. Religion or not, whatever your beliefs, there's no sudden wave of freedom, or drop of stress. Overwhelmingly reports of someone who attempted or was brought back end with them regretting it or not wanting to give up at the last second.

    Life is precious, not because it's good or because there's some holy significance to it, but because you only get to do it once. You can fall in love again, find friends again, join communities, see the sun, help the world, help your neighbors, play video games, whatever. You can always do those again.

    But you only get to live this life one time. Fill out that story until you run out of pages. Don't leave the book half finished. If you're alive, there's hope.

  • Spite, that's what your enemy's want. Don't give them the fucking satisfaction!

  • My apartment will fine me if I don't bring the trash cans back inside before 9PM, so I gotta be alive for that.

  • I can think of two reasons.

    First reason: because things can and probably will get much better. Joy in life comes from the little things. That sounds cliche but it's true. If I could talk to my 14 year old self, who was severely depressed to the point of trying (and thankfully failing) to take his own life, I would tell him about the next 20-ish years. Even though much of it will be hard, it will still be good. And he will grow in ways and get to experience things that he can't even begin to imagine. That's one thing I'm glad he failed at.

    Second reason: because believe it or not, you will leave a giant crater in the life of someone (or multiple someones) where you once existed. My great grandpa hung himself in 1929. That's all I know about him aside from his name. I never met my grandpa (died of cancer) but I remember my dad telling me a little about the impact it had on his dad, who was about 15 at the time of his father suicide. Long story short, my grandpa basically stopped growing emotionally at 15. He was a teenager who was very suddenly thrust into the role of an adult.

    I don't know what was going on with my great grandpa that led him to take his own life. I do know that what he left behind was a disaster. Including three generations of trauma, manifesting itself as a cycle of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. He effectively destroyed his children who proceeded to pass that destruction all the way down to me.

    If you've never watched Ted Lasso which I highly recommend, one of overarching themes is Ted's difficulty dealing with his father's suicide, which occured when Ted was 15. It's a light hearted show overall but there are a few scenes that really hit right in the feels.

    Even if you don't have kids, there are people who's lives will be permanently altered for the worse by your untimely death. Some will blame themselves, wondering what they could have done to prevent it.

  • My mother would be truly devestated, and I don't trust people to take care of my cat the way I want.

  • If you fail you'll live an infinitely worse life that isn't worth risking. And if you're going to make a rash decision then make one less rash like changing your entire name or applying to new jobs (amazon hires anyone) or dropping out of college

  • The one that kept me alive was that I couldn't make the world better for others, even in a small near-insignificant way, if I were dead. And it would be a bit pointless to die if everyone else is still going to live a life of suffering, especially as I can't be sure reincarnation isn't true.

  • there might be some media that'll come out that you're super into. Or like, you might see a friendly dog outside

  • Ammo is expensive and I can have more fun drinking and get the same result later down the road anyway

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