3w ago

is telling an employee how he has to speak micromanaging? Is it toxic?

I watched the last severance episode.

A manager (an 80's looking, strong and tall black man so you identify him) is told during a performance review he "uses too many big words".

To me, while this character can appear pretentious, he is simply an articulate man, like somebody who was taught at Oxford or Princeton. It's simply how he was raised, it's not his "fault".

I would feel attacked is somebody told me that for trying to use an appropriate vocabulary to describe or explain something, like being posh was something to be ridiculed.

If a coworker told me that I'd use a more detailed description so he understands what I mean but otherwise keep using my regular vocabulary. If a manager told me that I'd start looking for a new job, as it'd signal he feels entitled to micromanage me and a job doesn't have to be stressful.

Am I too thin skinned?

32 comments

You understand that this series is fictitious and intended to initiate self reflection in subtle and indirect ways.
- I see no harm in bringing the topics brought up in the series as discussion topics though?

Real answer: if you’re communicating, you want to be understood at some level. Knowing the audience changes the dynamic to fulfill that goal. If you use big words and your audience is 5 year olds, you likely won’t be understood.
If someone gave me this advice, my first reaction wouldn’t be “You’re attacking me!” It would, “Hey, thanks for the advice. Can you unpack it further for me?” In work, I’ve done well by having a growth oriented mindset. There absolutely are bad faith actors, but listening to the advice of others has helped me grow.

Communication can be an important part of one's job and communication encompasses more than just being able to speak to someone, but also being able to tailor your speech to your audience.
If a manager feels that your vocabulary can hinder how much a client or customer will be able to understand than it is reasonable to ask them to tone it down a bit in certain situations. In other where you are communicating with colleagues in adjacent industries it would probably be a boon to have someone sound super smart and knowledgeable and then you want them to tone it up. It's situational and can be a positive or a negative but the employee needs to be able to recognize the situation they are in and adjust accordingly.
I have a coworker right now where we have this issue. He's a very knowledgable person but also a little arrogant and always wants to sound like the smartest person in the room, but when you are explaining stuff to a random person on the street you don't want him to be blasting off technical jargon and Latin names for shit as it doesn't help the person understand anything and doesn't encourage increased dialogue.
- People who are very knowledgeable in their field often have trouble "dumbing" things down. They make a lot of assumptions of base level knowledge that genpop doesn't possess.
  I admit that I was that way for a while with IT, but I guess my mother being a teacher left me with the skill of being able to relate my knowledge to something they're familiar with.
  It got easier once I realized that if everyone possessed the knowledge that I do, I'd be out of a job. Also made dealing with tech illiterate people much easier.

I don't know how common it is, but when I grew up, being smart was basically an insult. Not being posh, but any sign of smartness. I was already a quiet kid, which made me a target (because quiet people are smart? My grades surely disagreed), using "difficult" vocabulary is definitely something you had to avoid; kids better not find out you have "smart" interests like computers or reading or something or you'd be ridiculed.
Maybe people carry their hate with them in adulthood but just don't show it so much (until it's time to vote 🙂)
- Yes, and realizing what a large percentage of such people I grew up with in the tail end of gen-X, I shouldn’t have been surprised by the outcome of the election.

I train people on how to speak (to executives, during a presentation, with clients) all the time. In my line of work, a client can end a contract if they don't like engaging with my team - so it is pretty relevant to the job.

it takes a special kind of person to work for Lum💧n. Leave your sensitivity, common sense and empathy in your car before entering the building.
- Yeah, didn't that person basically sign up to be emotionally abused without recourse?
  
  I think it’s how they’re taught. There are Lumon schools and they are essentially raised that way. I think there is a bit of a war inside of Milchik of the person he thinks hes supposed to be and the person he is internally, which is a little bit empathetic but also pretty arrogant, but still has some residual sense of right and wrong. Also I think he can’t help but see a lot of allusions to slavery in the way Lumon controls and manipulates Innies, and the way it enforces its principles

I got called into the office by my supervisor for a verbal counseling because I used the words “myriad” and “recalcitrant” in an email to a subordinate who was not doing their job.

The whole show is about what happens when you go balls to the wall in micromanagement.

“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you” is the best response.
- "I'm sorry, let me use smaller words." is one of my favorite insults. :)

I haven't seen the show. From the context you provided and assuming good faith from both parties, it sounds like a skill issue on both their parts.
Don't understand words? Ask for clarification during the conversation, not after the fact in a performance review.
Audience doesn't understand your words? If the audience tells you they don't understand, take that feedback and try to communicate more effectively.
It's not fair to judge if this is micromanaging or toxic based on the first discussion about it. It depends on how both parties behave and choose to cooperate now that the issue has been raised. Knowing whatever history these characters have and the tone of the scene might paint a better picture of their intentions.
- The show is essentially about toxic work culture. It explores all the tropes with the twist that a person’s work consciousness is completely severed from their rest-of-life consciousness; one has no recall of what the other has done.
  This is only for the workers and doesn’t extend to managers.

You must rid yourself of childish folly
- Grow!

Yes, you are too thin skinned

I was told during my apprenticeship by a manager that I didn’t use big enough words. I was later told to ignore him.

Know your audience. Up your Grammer/biz speak skills as you move up the chain of command. Relax it a bit moving down it.
This works in most cases.

Depends on the job a great deal. I can't use the same words to talk to customers as I can my coworkers.

Telling an employee how they should speak could potentially be micromanaging, but providing constructive criticism for drafting emails et cetera is not.
I don't think that thin skinned is the right word for this. It's great to take pride in your own writing style and natural to feel somewhat offended when someone is critical of it. However, it can't hurt to at least listen to criticism in an objective way before deciding whether it's author is being a toxic micromanaging prick, or may indeed have something useful to say.
Oddly enough, just 2 days ago I told a team member to make some changes to the tone of an email. He's a tax consultant, he was emailing an employee of a client who does their bookwork. It was a long email regarding multiple ways they could improve their records in future in order to minimise our fees. My team member didn't really intend it but he'd drafted something that just made him look like an asshole "I'm better than you" type missive to someone who's doing their best with no support and no formal training.
I explained that a good relationship with that person will be far more valuable and helpful to us in future than whatever improvements in their records might arise from the email itself.
The skills involved in drafting good communication can be continually improved over a lifetime.

I work at a huge corp in the US, and they're constantly trying to get everyone to get their point across using simpler language. And, there are a lot of positives to doing so.

The real problem is that the paper clips were on backwards.

I tend to be a chameleon in social situations. I worked as a server and in retail, and adapting my language and behaviors helped me connect with all sorts of people. How I talked with a group of little old ladies who just came from church was COMPLETELY different than how I talked to the drunks on third shift.
If someone else is using big words, feel free to match them, but most people don't really care about learning big words that mean the same thing as words they already know. This alone doesn't make them stupid, as they probably know a lot about other things that you have no interest in.
When I hear someone using archaic words, I don't assume that they are smart, I assume they WANT TO SOUND smart and that they are too good to act like a "normal" person.
- My autistic ass just chooses the most precise words no matter the context, complexity be dammed. Thanks brain.

You're going to have to order lumch from the menu.

[Shitty Life Pro Tip]
You answer : okay you want me to explain like you are five ? ... can do that 😏

32 comments