4d ago

‘Uber for Armed Guards’ Rushes to Market Following the Assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO

Are you scared to walk down the streets of NYC and also have too much money? There's an app for that.

17 comments

To the persons who will be providing physical security: these CEOs are not worth your life. Collect your paycheck, and when the time is right, just step aside.

This is where they find out that it is very difficult to tell the difference between apolitical bodyguards and anti-capitalists with a gym membership.

Better start cooking your own food and doing all of your own vehicle maintenance. There are soooo many more of us than them. We could eliminate them overnight.

What are they going to do, jump in front of a gun for $100 an hour?
- I must be noble and protect the billionaire class

The sad truth is that this already exists and has existed for a very long time. The global "Security Consultants" industry is worth somewhere around $50 billion. Granted, a lot of that comes from like, shipping companies and such, but if you have the money, they'll protect you. Usually with retired or discharged veterans so they already have significantly more combat experience than whoever they're protecting from, especially not some rando who I contracted over my lunch break

How come Metal Gear Solid keeps being right about so many things?
- Because kojima is from the future
  
  Well, I guess it's time to start stockpiling piss grenades.

Good, they should be scared. But I highly doubt an armed guard like that would prevent a proper dedicated attack. It only takes one bullet to kill a man, after all.
- Sounds like an excellent way to compile a list of those with some reason to fear public retribution for their actions though
- Targeting the armed guards is also easier and drives up the price of protection.

Then they get hacked and all of the scheduling and concerns are available publicly.

17 comments