C.R.E.A.M.

This doesn't work because it will also make hydrogen gas that will take up the air in the area you are in causing you to suffocate. I lost a very close friend to this please don't spread misinformation online.

That's why I just buy Gadolinium and slice each atom in half!
- Huh? Wouldn't that just give you two radioactive isotopes of germanium? (^(154)Gd/2 = ^(77)Ge > ^(76)Ge)
With the right equipment, you can capture the hydrogen and use it to power your hydrogen fuel cell car. So not only do you get free gold, you get free fuel for your car as well.
- Any alchemist worth his salt is worth his gold.
You just have to go slowly and next to the window

I think you'll lose like 5 grams from the protons, more cause you might have to remove a couple of neutrons?

That's the fun part. If you take just one proton off, you'll often end up with some gold that just decays back into mercury in a few days. Sell it for a quick prank.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotopesofgold
- I'm a third generation proton plucker myself. Some day, my children's children's children may have a good laugh when they finish this bar.
- you can find Hg 198 for sale actually. So if you're a morally pure alchemist you can make the stable isotope of gold
More like put em all together and get even more gold
- Anybody have advice for shoving a bunch of protons together? I keep trying but they always fly away from each other.

And all those alchemists were starting with lead. What idiots.

0.995 kg of gold and 5g of protium

Actually less than that because only around 10% of the gold created this way (assuming a natural distribution of Hg isotopes) would be stable, so you'd get a bunch of β particles too. I don't even know how Au-201 would act, and it would comprise 30% of the output.

21 minute half life beta decay back to mercury.
- half life beta
  Half Life 3 confirmed alright
- what if you remove another proton from that mercury isotope

A rage comic? What year is this?

It's a welcome break from deep fried and cropped porn memes.
Not only that, but also extreme troll physics vibes. Just lacking magnets and tge question how they work.

How many atoms does 1kg of mercury have?

30x10^23 atoms according to my calculations.
- So basically if you handle 1M atoms per second, it would take 95B years to process 1kg...
  It's really hard to grasp those scales
- 3.0022×10^24 atoms, to be precise.

What a troll - everyone knows if you transform Hg202 into Au201, it will immediately decay back into Hg201 while releasing about 606MJ of energy in the process.

But, if you instead pull of a few neutrons to make Hg197, it will decay in a few days to stable Au197, along with a free neutrino.

He converted lead into gold and Euros into dollars.

wait how has noone thought of this?

Yeah I think there were some folks who thought about splitting the atom right? I forget who.
Anyway, now I am become wealth, buyer of worlds.
What do you mean "no one". There is a wikihow guide on this: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Gold-from-Mercury
- Seems easy enough. Off to the nuclear reactor store to get started.
Step two is fiddly
This was the idea by alchemy. They thought you could change one element into another. Lead to gold and so forth, but not so easy in medieval Europe
- Yeah they didn't have tweezers back then
- you can make gold from platinum! however this is a net loss as platinum costs more
Step 2 is expensive :( tweezers ain't cheap!
- Zircon-encrusted
Yeah but it would cost more and take an exorbitant amount of time (like billions of years) to produce anything of value, let alone profit.
They have they all died tho cos it makes hydrogen gas and the die and suffocate please like to spread awareness
- just hold your breath ???

Has that ever worked with mercury? I know I lt worked in a very small number of atoms (about 200) for lead and gold

Dollar dollar bill y'all, get the money

I love that the face is actually mirrored. 10/10

Fake. The resulting Au201 and Au199 will promptly turn back into mercury. But, if you instead pull of a few neutrons to make Hg197, it will decay in a few days to stable Au197, along with a free neutrino.

Cash rules everything around me CREAM! Get the money! Dollar dollar bill yooooo

Hold up how much do all the protons you removed weigh? You get less than 1kg of gold at the end