I Attended My First Ever Protest

Maybe this isn’t significant to some but it means everything to me.

As someone with severe anxiety, and maybe some other mental illnesses, I have a hard time leaving my house. It’s already hard enough going to school and grocery shopping so being at such a confrontational public event. Last time I was at something even close to a protest was a pride parade many years ago and I wasn’t even in the parade self, just watching from the sidelines.

If you’re from Canada, living here, or just aware of current politics then you’ll know that a national protest called “1 Million March 4 Children” was being held today, September 20th, to protest “SOGI” and the “mutilation of children.” If it obvious this was a nationwide far-right protest to attack the 2SLGBTQ+ community, peddling the same conspiracy bullshit. Of course when these protest plans were made public many counter protests were set up. I, of course, battled with myself on whether I would go to the one in my area. The protest was going to be quite early and I was nervous about missing my first period class, but I forced myself to get a grip and just go.

I set up many alarms which didn’t even matter anyway since I barely got a wink of sleep last night, I was that anxious. Thankfully I didn’t feel tired in the morning but that could’ve been from lingering nerves. I made sure to make my lunch for the day and eat a decent breakfast before heading out to the meeting point. It was quite cold and damp but the shakes kept me warm-ish. I was worried about a lot but one was whether I’d be able to find the spot or would I be left wandering. Thankfully, it was easy to find, I just had to look out for pride flags, and guess what I saw there? Marxists! They were with us with signs and handing out pamphlets. I did not get one as I was to nervous to approach, which I know is silly but I was already freaked out enough going to a protest by myself let alone actually talking to people. Anyway we were all gathering and few infiltrators made themselves aware ad it was sort of cool how they were dealt with. One guy with a camera was pointed out, shamed, and we were all told to turn away so he wouldn’t get out faces. Another guy was handing out rainbow pamphlets, which I considered grabbing since I had nothing rainbow on me but another guy was tailing him shouting that he was from the other side, and what do you know the seemingly pride pamphlets he was naming out were actually inscribed with a bunch of religious and anti-queer crap. That guy also got into a screaming match and there was a small altercation that was dealt with but surprise surprise the cops did absolutely nothing. We had to handle it ourselves.

I was very shaken up from that ordeal but it went away pretty quickly when I saw how our side rallied together. Even though I was there on my own I didn’t feel alone. I knew that if I needed anything at all everyone there had my back. When the chants started it took me a while to find my voice but I got there eventually! It was invigorating to say the least. Even though it was cold and wet I felt warm and content. It felt amazing to be on the frontlines, essentially. I had to leave a little early because I didn’t want to miss my history class, but Im so glad I stayed for the amount of time I did.

I cry just going over these events, it was just a lot. A lot of big feelings, and a lot on the line. I’m sitting here writing this post while I wait for my next class to start and I’m just quietly sobbing, having to use sticky notes as tissues since I forgot to pack some from home.

In conclusion I am definitely going to be participating in more protests, schedule permitting.

Important edit: the transphobes brought so many of their young kids and had them hold such hateful signs. Most of the children were pushed to the frontlines to the point where they were spilling onto the road. In my area we were, unfortunately, outnumbered but I think it’s because we didn’t pull our kids out of school for this, also people had work and school. That planned this very deliberately. My heart aches that we still have to do this and fascism is on the rise. It’s terrifying to look hate directly in the face.