9mo ago

Officers seize bag with ‘Definitely not a bag full of drugs’ printed on it – and it was full of drugs, Police Bureau says

www.oregonlive.com

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9mo ago

Officers seize bag with ‘Definitely not a bag full of drugs’ printed on it – and it was full of drugs, Police Bureau says

www.oregonlive.com /crime/2024/10/officers-seize-bag-with-definitely-not-a-bag-full-of-drugs-printed-on-it-and-it-was-full-of-drugs-police-bureau-says.html

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9mo ago

Police seize bag with "Definitely not full of drugs" printed on it...

www.oregonlive.com /crime/2024/10/officers-seize-bag-with-definitely-not-a-bag-full-of-drugs-printed-on-it-and-it-was-full-of-drugs-police-bureau-says.html

21 comments

I can't believe someone would violate the unshaking honor of the words printed on a bag like this
If this dude registered as a Sovereign Citizen, he would have been fine!
I’ll show you:
Police: “What’s in the bag? Does that say ‘no drugs’ on it??”
SovCit: “I never entered into a contract with you!”
Police: Snatches bag and starts digging.
SovCit: “Neither the individual nor the STRAW MAN contracted with —- please stop!”
Police: Tackles SovCit
SovCit: “I swear this bag is not from the TRUSTEE or the STRAW MAN. It ain’t my bag. Do you have a claim against me because I’m — bro, maritime laws!!”
Hmm… I guess this doesn’t work out after all.
- You forgot the part where they yelled "Without prejudice!" and signed their bag in blue ink at a 45° angle.
  
  Drat, I failed us here! I forgot to invoke the sacred spells!
- They paid $2000 to a guy they saw on YouTube to learn how to be tackled by that cop.
  
  LOL the investment pays for itself. Surely it will work next time!
- I am just transporting a bag. The contents are not officially licensed to be regulated by the state.
- Ah yes Straw Man, drug kingpin
5d chess.
- Meth chess
  
  Now I want to see two meth heads play chess, itll either be the most riveting game of chess or a gladiatorial matchup either way I am entertained.
They definitely thought it was hilarious to keep drugs in that bag. However;
Officers on Tuesday night stopped a man and a woman driving a stolen car in Southeast Portland, and they found much more than a stolen car
They broke the most important rule. When breaking the law, only break one at a time. If you're gonna carry around your fun joke drug bag, don't do it while driving a stolen car.
This is the kind of thing Chief Wiggum would proudly hold a press conference about while the thieves are carting away city hall in the background.
I wonder if the dude who got caught with it was dumbfounded that his plan didn't work.
- He must have been. "Trust me, bro" always works with cops. He probably even told the officer, "you've got to tell me if you're a cop. You know that, right?"
Security through obscurity. Not the best practice.
I can't believe the bag would just lie like that!
Hey I got the same precision scale. Neat.
- I spent a few years retailing on eBay, selling off my father's vast collections (he was like a hoarder, except much of his stuff had actual value) and I had a postal scale for lighter objects since most of the things I was selling were not more than a couple of pounds.
  So it looked like a drug scale.
  I used to have to show people that it actually said it was a postal scale on it if they came over and asked me if I was dealing drugs.
"Aww get out of here you rascals! Don't let me catch you again!"

21 comments