why do clothes get more uncomfortable after every wash

It's the reverse for me. New clothes feel uncomfortable, sometimes. Then, the more I wear it, they keep getting comfortable.

Maybe, look up tye ingredients of your detergent? Also, consider using treated-soft water for washing clothes. Hard water (water with minerals) can damage the fabric.

Should be like that, they may look worse but feel more comfortable with washes.
Natural fibers trend to get softer and thus more comfortable. I'm not sure this is true of synthetics. What kind of materials are your clothes, OP?

Possible solutions:

Check if you're not using too much detergent.
Skip the fabric softner.
Google using vinegar to clean clothes.

Won't vinegar ruin rubber sealings?
- You need to dilute it. That's why I recommended googling it.
  
  It's not as simple as chucking in loads of vinegar.

Use like half the recommend amount of laundry detergent. Unless your clothes are filthy, it's plenty, it'll save you money, and it's better for the environment.
Add 1/4 cup white vinegar as if it were liquid fabric softener (the food grade stuff, not the house cleaning stuff). This aids the detergent and acts as a mild fabric softener. It rinces completely in the wash and doesn't leave an odor.
Use dryer balls - 2 ot 3 balls of felted wool about the size of a tennis ball - in place of dryer sheets. They do almost as well at killing static and softening clothes without the chemical residue.

And, finally...

Wash your clothes less often. Generally speaking, unless they're visibly dirty or smell, they don't need to be washed. This doesn't apply to socks or undergarments - those should typically be washed, or at least rinced out, with every wear.

Edit: clarification, with thanks to antimidas who pointed it out!

Just in case someone misreads this, add the vinegar as the softener, so it's not in the first load that contains the detergent. The detergent is a base, and relies upon that fact to get rid of some of the stains, and vinegar as an acid will neutralize that. Vinegar is meant to be in the rinse cycle when washing laundry, where it can help get rid of any extra detergent by neutralizing it and do any other magic it does.

Also, though I don't usually encounter them often, do note that vinegar can wash away zinc and silver oxides used for some sterile clothing, and can supposedly damage lyocell.

But overall I second these suggestions. Most times the amounts listed for detergent are far too big, and you can often get by with less.
- Gah! Yes, the vinegar is for the softener cycle! I fixed it in my post. Thank you, kind internet stranger!
I have a rule where undies are a one and done, tshirts are twice then in the wash, and pants are until they look dirty. I don't do the same for shirts as i do pants because of armpits. If only i had pit undies... hmmm....

Sounds like you may be using to much soap. You should also look into switching brands and check if you have hard water.

they feel so ‘chemical-y’ and their texture goes from soft to uncomfy idfk?

This feels like what you're noticing is actually the removal of the "chemicals" (technically, the fibres are a chemical, too, even cotton - everything is chemical in nature, btw, there is no "natural"). There's an oil on/in the fabric when you buy it to make it softer and to protect it during transport and storage, and over a few washing cycles this gets removed.

To re-apply this effect, use fabric softeners. That's exactly what they exist to do.

does fabric softener ruin clothes?

Yes! Fabric softener creates a waxy coating that can actually ruin your clothes over time.

This is because fabric softener essentially applies a thin, waxy coating to your laundry which must be water-resistant to survive the washing process. This waterproof coating initially makes your clothes softer but lessens their ability to absorb water and detergent over time.

This means your clothes won’t hold up as well in the wash and will likely begin locking in bad odors. These odors defeat the purpose of doing laundry.

Fabric softener can even ruin your cloth dish towels and stop them from absorbing water. That’s because fabric softener will build up on them over time, and since fabric softener is water proof, this interrupts how much liquid they can absorb.

https://www.goingzerowaste.com/blog/fabric-softener-why-you-shouldnt-use-it/
- I stopped using fabric softener on my clothes a while back because it's kinda ruined all my old stuff.
  
  That also explains some of my clothing that I've been simply unable to get odors out of... no matter how hot they're washed. I thought my washing machine was broken lol
- Not to talk about the environmental impact which is also discussed in the link above.
- Yeah well, of course. That's also why towels absorb water so much worse when they're new and soft - they still have the oils on them. As they get dry and scratchy with repeated washings they no longer feel nice, but they're much more efficient at drying yourself off with.
Natural is typically used to mean something that occurs in nature or results from mild refinement vs. purely synthetic and novel molecules. I don't think most anyone would call cotton a 'chemical' and being that specific is really a form of pedantry more than a useful label.

Not sure what to tell you there, mine get comfier as I wash them.

Uh I think that's a you thing?

Most of my home wear clothes are years old with a couple of holes in them but they are very cosy.

What kind of detergent do you use, and do you use fabric softener? Personally I can't stand the smell of mainstream scented detergents - they got worse and worse for me over time until I was wondering "why would I want my clothes to smell like synthetic grapes and weird cotton candy crap?". At this point it irritates my nose and sustained exposure makes my lips swell slightly and my eyes turn red (I must be allergic to the fragrances somehow).

I am fine with unscented All or Tide, but mainly use unscented 'natural' detergents like Seventh Generation or ECOS. Dryer sheets and fabric softener I avoid entirely, even unscented ones. Fabric softener to me makes my clothes feel like they're coated in weird oil (makes sense, that's what it is I guess). I use these wool spheres the size of billiard balls for anti-static and that works great.

Started using the wool balls about a year or so ago and it's a complete game changer. The only thing I don't like about them is they get caught in some clothes sometimes and I find them when folding in my bedroom and I forget to bring them back ha.
- Wool dryer balls was going to be my suggestion also (unless the OP doesn't have a dryer). Everything comes out of the dryer soft and fluffy because of the dryer balls. I haven't used fabric softener in years.
  
  OP, if you line dry, I would switch to a powder detergent (rinses away cleaner than liquid) and use half the recommended amount. I'd also add extra rinses. Your problem.might be too much detergent residue on your clothing.
- Ha, yep - I've gone from 9 to 4-5 and find them in my sleeves when I'm folding clothes. I think the missing ones are trapped in my gf's clothes, which she just sort of stacks up rather than folding...
- We have a couple tennis ball sized wool balls that I used for awhile, but the kitten decided they were for her to wrestle with and roll around the house. Now I would have to wash them separately before I threw them in with my towels and undies.

Skill issue. My clothes get comfier and comfier as they go through the wash

New clothes have a machining oil residue from the manufacturing process. This gets cleaned off when you wash them. But when you first wear them you're well oiled!

Possibly also death wax like flame retardants or pesticides from the transportation process.

If you're using powdered detergent, make sure yours doesn't have zeolite as the water softening agent. It will deposit in the machine, and starts eventually covering the fabrics with a talcum-like powdery substance. It gets especially bad if you either have to use a lot of detergent because of hard water, or are overusing the detergent.

Zeolite was brought in to replace phosphates due to environmental concerns, but it has its own problems with the washing results.

One other thing that often ruins the freshness of clothes for me is overly scented/perfumed detergent. The smell can get quite overwhelming, and contribute to a chemical-y smell and feel.

I use white vinegar as a pretty low impact, residue free softening agent which also cleans the washing machine at the same time.

Because you don't wash them in a good way lol

Or because you have the worst clothes ever.

When you wash clothes look for the instructions at which temperature you need to wash them. If you can put them in a drier...

Dont let clothes dry in a dryer machine, only let them a bit, then let them dry on a drying rack or whatever it's called. Careful with clothes which aren't rated to go into the drier, use low temperature, and never let them a long time if you put them in a dryer machine.

If they seem chemical, or have a bad smell, check if the washing machine washes well, or use another program to wash them more, or a short program to wash them again, only with water.

Maybe try another detergent, or put less of it.

Also, if as other comments said, if you use a softener, try without.

If they seem chemical, or have a bad smell, check if the washing machine washes well, or use another program to wash them more, or a short program to wash them again, only with water.

And importantly, clean your washing machine. The residue from the detergent and the grime will slowly build up, so it's important to at least every few months run a cleaning cycle (95°C or whatever the self-cleaning cycle of your machine is) with an actual machine cleaner and no clothes.
Before that cycle, manually clean some parts like the detergent fill-in area and the door. Some of the remaining dirt will be washed off by the cleaning cycle then.