Skip Navigation

chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

happybadger [he/him] @hexbear.net

2y ago

What if we, as a forum, legally adopted a child together? Would that stop our struggle sessions?

We could educate them using posts and they could ask /c/mutualaid if they need food or something. Just an idea to bring us together again.

35 comments

As long as it's an indoor child. If you let your kid outside it's just going to end up killing a ton of birds.
- I don't have space for an indoor child. My porch isn't super enclosed from the street either. But they could couch surf with users that are comfortable giving out their address to the child.
  
  I'm building a ~~treehouse~~ guerrilla base for the child as we speak
I theorize that the child will be socially maladjusted and harbor a deep resentment for us
- So they'll be just like their parents
Honey, I caught the kid stacking rocks again
I'll buy them their first outdoor cat
I'm ready to have a desperation baby to save our relationship.
- We're gonna prove it takes a village to raise a child.
  
  well that's darn tough 🎵🎵🎶🎶
  when all you got is pillage 🎵🎶🎶🎵🎵
The One True Socialist
Sure, but just to be safe, let's agree on what an appropriate bed time should be
- I was going to let the child decide and see what happens. Maybe we'll get a disappointing one and they need the advice of thousands of people in the parenthood megathread.
- Bedtime is authoritarianism 1980
Changing internet diapers
- One upbear is one changed diaper!!
You joke, but I did this with my ex and it totally worked.
I have been told that the best thing for a struggling marriage is to bring a child into it to smooth out the conflict.
- you can't yell about maoist third-worldism at me in front of the baby
  
  Of course, so I'll just offload the caretaking labor to an underpaid babysitter so I can do the much gentler labor that is in better conditions. I'm sure nothing about that will impede radicalization
Dethklok moment
Okay but what if we illegally adopted a child together?
- And that child's name? Virgil Texas.
"You think Pig Poop Balls is your ally? You merely adopted the Pig Poop Balls. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the front of the pig until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!"
But what if the adoption office assign us a crakkkerling?
- Weekly spray tans
Remember David Graeber’s story about how during Occupy, their collective bought a car to drive people to protests, but the law made it so prohibitively difficult to collectively own a car that they ended up destroying the car?
Anyway, completely irrelevant anecdote. Adopting a kid sounds great.
Let's collectively own a cat first, for practice.
First question: indoor or outdoor?
- I think we've all individually owned a cat. Some of us are even individually parents. What if we used that expertise about pet ownership and parenting to inform the community? That could be like one party in the larger congress of soviets. They'll advocate for things cats and kids like, I'll advocate for things my dog and I like. We'll make a stronger baby as a result.

35 comments