10mo ago

Old people, did people used to be so afraid of doing things alone? This has to be because of social media right?

Zoomer here, will go to concerts alone once every few months because I have pretentious taste in music + the one friend I have with very similar tastes is a little agoraphobic

Hell all 3 festivals I've been to have also been alone cause people flaking before a big fest is pretty common in general and happened to me all 3 times. Will sometimes try to meet people and hangout, sometimes not depending on what vibe I'm feeling

So many zoomers who find out I do this look at me so weird but like what, am I just not going to enjoy myself and do something I want just because I don't have somebody to go with?

I have a few friends that are 40+ and it sounds like they do stuff alone frequently. The ~30 year old friends aren't doing it a lot but they don't seem to have the same fear zoomers do either. I regularly run into 30+ yo ppl I know at an event there alone but never happens with zoomers

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I think it's more a feature of being secure in oneself, which is less common being young. I remember when I was young, doing things like eating out, going to a movie etc alone seemed weird. then I did those things and it wasn't. now that I'm an old, I've traveled overseas for months at a time, explored places, moved to new states, and lived entirely on my own in new places and had to find/cultivate an entirely new social circle. it just feels like being independent.
I think in my late teens/early 20s the idea of doing all that on my own was overwhelming, whereas doing things in a little group or as part of a couple seemed much easier.
there are people my age that would find it so even now, but they are probably in the minority. being > 40 and not being capable of many doing things on your own is more the "odd" situation.
At some age, people learn about which social standards they actually care about and which ones they want to ignore.
When I was young, I knew some people that thought it was weird to go to a pub yourself, but now many of them do it for lunch on a workday or whatever.
I knew a guy who thought it was weird to pay for minor things with a debit card (he thought it was flashy and wanted us to pay in cash).
Idk, random stuff, I think it's pretty normal to grow up thinking you have to do things like going to a cinema in a group, but realising you can just go and chill out by yourself
There was some social stigma, and there were people who had social anxiety, but I don't recall people being afraid to go out in the elden days.
We tend to do things alone when we feel secure in ourselves and enjoy our own company. That's going to be highly individualistic, but there's going to be some cultural pieces too, COVID lockdowns threw a lot of people off. I'm an old, and I go grocery shopping by myself a lot of times so my partner and I don't have to make a whole big thing about it. But being l before I got married and at times since, I'll go and do social things alone, it can be intimidating and or feel like a power move. It can be a nice mix up for routine life things, give it a try! I think it comes more with age for a lot of people, you've been around long enough to stop caring what other people might think.
We didn't know to be afraid. We were just out there by ourselves wandering around without a phone or Google maps.
I used to walk to kindergarten and back by myself, now the pigs kidnap kids and throw their parents in prison if they let their kid do that. There are reasons not to be out on your own, not least of which is to have witnesses to pig violence.
- Not to mention all the oversized trucks and SUVs driven by absolute chuds with no regard for pedestrian life.
Honestly, I think this is just a personality thing. I knew people back in the 90’s who couldn’t fathom the idea of going out to have fun that didn’t involve doing it with a friend group.
I went to concerts alone at times, but not until I was around 24 or so. As a gen-xer, I’m honestly a little envious of the togetherness the kids at shows have these days (at least it seems like it). I went to a festival-type show with my wife a while back and the youths were moving in groups. It could be that I like to imagine the kids banding together and taking over, though, idk.
- It's selection bias imo, I know so many people that cancel if somebody else flakes and they'd have to go alone
Hmm. Never really thought about it as a generational or age thing.
But, yeah, I do things alone all the time. Travel, movies, concerts, bars, camping, restaurants, whatever. If I want to do something then I usually assume I'm going to do alone and then I invite people to see if anyone wants to join me but if not then I go through with my plans.

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