Did Marx wear a cock cage?

You've got it backwards. Engels wore the cock cage, and Marx had the key. Engels had to pay for access to the key. Everyone knows Marx and Engels were in a findom situationship

Yes. It’s actually a foundational aspect of Marxism that most people don’t know about because they don’t read theory.

No way Marx was fucking hot babes all day, women were like "oh Mr. Marx please get me preggers" and he was like "whoa easy babe, one at a time, I need rest in between!"

Nah, that takes too much discipline. Marx was a bit too much of a disaster.

He wanted to, but it irritated his pp carbuncles.

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yes but he never shaved so you couldn't tell