Alright, beeple, we're naming 7 new dwarves for 2023. Whaddya got?

Doc went corporate, and is now HMO. He's rich now, because he charges the other dwarves a monthly premium, but somehow their coverage never actually covers anything that's wrong with them.

Dopey has been replaced with Trippy, after discovering the healing powers of psychedelics.

Between climate change, the housing market, and stagnant wages, Happy found he needed some extra assistance to keep up the positive attitude. Fortunately, Trippy "knows a guy". Happy now goes by Xanny.

Bashful, after being diagnosed by HMO, changed his name to Social Anxiety. He can't afford medication, since HMO won't cover the brand-name drug to treat it (only the generic that didn't work and made him fat). But at least he has real diagnosis now, and he's working on it through on-line pay-per-session therapy from a company he heard about on a self-help podcast.

Grumpy spent years doomscrolling through Reddit and Twitter, and now knows The Truth about Them. He is now known as Ragey, and frequently encourages the other dwarves to Do Their Own Researchy.

Sneezy became a pariah during the COVID-19 pandemic, as everyone assumed he had it. To fight against that stigma, he changed his name to Allergy. Nobody believes him.

Sleepy discovered that the best way to not have to deal with any of the others was to lean in to his shtick, and is therefore still Sleepy (and hasn't been out of bed since 2016).

Anxious, depressed, autistic, genderqueer, lpoc, toxic, & dudebro.

Methy, Crypto, Poor, Gaia, Q, Pride, and Privilege

Karl, Rock, Stone, Roll, Bone, Heart, Molly