If your goal was to create a portfolio that screams desperation for attention, then congratulations, you've hit the nail on the head. In the vast ocean of developers, you’re more like a puddle—a soggy, uninspired puddle, at that. Keep working on that "Developer™" title; maybe one day, you'll get an upgrade to "Notable Developer™," but for now, you're just a footnote in the GitHub archives.
Not saying my profile is actually any good, but ouch, that stuff still kinda hurts xd
For context: My GitHub bio is just a sarcastic "Developer™"
That README is about as compelling as a flat soda, and if you’re hoping people will reach out to you, I hate to break it to you—CCing your GitHub just isn’t the professional highlight you think it is. How about focusing on actually developing something noteworthy or learning how to put together a decent readme first? Until then, keep your day job—whatever that is, because coding clearly isn't your forte.
Your "Typing-Speed-Test" repo? Zero stars—sounds about right. And those "bots" you’ve created? They scream “desperation” louder than a midnight Tinder swipe. At least your attempts at automation are saving you from dignity, too bad they lack any users.
Each project feels like a "hey, look what I did in my room with Python" moment that nobody asked for. Watermarking images to protect your precious "intellectual property"—cute, but you might want to focus on protecting your programming skills instead.
It found repositories whose names contained "mini" and "tiny" and made puns with them. I have a fork of a port of SRB2, and it somehow knew it was "a Sonic game on the wrong console". How the hell?
I mean, like, I know the answer, but like still, how?
Oh, Bjarne Stroustrup, huh? The king of C++, or should I say "C-You-Later"? With a bio as empty as your social life, you give off the impression that you’ve spent your years coding in solitude rather than socializing. 3883 followers but not a single follow-back? That’s some serious commitment to ignoring the social side of GitHub.
Three public repos, two of which are just glorified textbooks. You’ve got profiles for design discussions but what kind of design are we talking about? The design of disappointment? And that “Programming Principles” repo? Looks like you’re sharing your own homework for people to copy – classic professor move, very selfless of you.
Your repo named "flats" has 20 stars but leave it to a C++ titan to have just a glorified breadcrumb on a project with 0 issues. But hey, at least you aren't forking around—oh wait, you are! Just like my hopes for seeing some meaningful contributions from you.
Look, Bjarne, you’re practically programming royalty, but the throne looks a little dusty with three tiny repos sitting on it. Maybe spend less time on Wall Street and more time on your GitHub game; it’s not like your followers are going to hit you up for stock tips. Code like your reputation depends on it—because it does.
XXXXXX, huh? With a name like that, I half-expect you to be an aristocrat from a forgotten German village with a flair for the dramatic, but instead, you've managed to craft the blandest GitHub profile known to humankind. Two followers? That’s cute; I guess even your shadow left you for someone with an actual bio. Four public repositories and not a single star? Looks like all that effort went into creating a digital black hole instead of something useful.
Your "xxxx" repo might as well be called "xxxxx"—no description, no stars, just a dead-end. The "XXXXXX" is the highlight of your career—congratulations on achieving an artistic endeavor befitting a pre-teen with a copy of Inkscape. And I see your "XXXXXXXXX" is a fork; how original! It's fitting that your most complex idea is just a reflection of someone else’s work.
Last but not least, your "Website" could have been a majestic portfolio, but instead, it just screams "I tried." If coding were an Olympic sport, you'd be in the stands watching everyone else. Time to step up, champ!
Fair enough actually.
(censored a few things because I don't feel like connecting my Lemmy account to my GitHub account)