[Volcel Police Violation] Are you supposed to fondly remember the first time you had sex or is that just a meme?

I guess I'm in the minority here but I had a great first experience and still remember it. It wasn't awkward because it was with a girlfriend in high school I already had for a bit and were building up to it. It was very sweet but passionate when it did happen. She was convinced for a while I was lying about it being my first time (I wasn't) because I generally knew what I was doing, but only generally as I wasn't lost. We were pretty young and stayed together for years after that and fucked like rabbits, like anytime and anywhere and all the time. I'm actually coincidentally currently where we first did the deed and did it many times again after that. We broke up near the beginning of college and eventually reconnected mid/late-20's, still were in sync and had the same passion, but the relationship outside of that wasn't great. We're not together anymore and I haven't spoken to her in years, but I know if we met up again that we'd still pick up where we left off. Anyway, I remember her and all of it very fondly. She was beautiful. I was very lucky to find someone that was such a perfect sexual match out the gate, had worse experiences later when I had more experience ironically.

I was honestly fondly remembering my first time probably like a few days ago.

movies have given people brain rot, your first time is universally awkward as fuck because you literally have no idea what you're doing as far as muscle memory goes

even if it's good you're probably not going to look back on it more fondly than later encounters where you actually know what you're doing and what you're looking for in a partner

It was my moms friend. The sex was bad, but it was extremely funny, looking back.

Idk I think I had an okay time

People take the sex thing too seriously imo, doesn't matter if it's awkward or if things don't work, just try something else and if no one having fun give it up and go do something else

Maybe I've just never had good sex lmao

People put way too much emphasis on first times though, virginity is an especially cursed concept

First time sex? I'm keeping myself for marriage.

Mine was very unsuccessful mechanically but still a massively positive experience. I think you bond better with someone over a clumsy fumble that you can laugh about. I've definitely had sex that was "better" physically but lacking heavily emotionally.

I think its normal to remember who, where, and when but thats about it. First sex is almost never good and most sex isnt memorable tbh.

it was dogshit. we were pretending to pay attention to Mean Girls for 30 minutes until it happened and it literally took me like 15 minutes to put it in her either cause we were way too drunk or she was clenching too much out of anxiety or something

Quite frankly, I despised my first time so much that I don't even like to recall it as "my first time." It was just sex. That's it. I give it no special title or honor. It was just sex.

I remember my first time like the time I first thought to myself "wow I love being cis"

it never fuckin happened

I barely even remember, let alone have an opinion on it, i cant say it was great. I got my sex ed from the original season of skins.

It was a positive experience for sure. With my high school girlfriend. We were long distance, we'd been together for almost a year and made specific plans for it, and it was gay sex so we were under no illusions that sex ed or cultural sex knowledge would be sufficient. We knew each other well enough that it was comfortable to laugh at the inevitable clumsy parts. Not all of my memories of that relationship are fond and I've had better sex since, but it was a good experience.

I haven't had a first time but I've been close a few times. It felt fun at first, but then I realized I wasn't doing anything for my own sake. I felt like I was putting up an act for the other person and wasn't enjoying myself. Then when it got time to really get intimate, I always backed away because I started feeling like shit.

I've only recently learned in the past year that's not normal and that I'm probably just on the ace spectrum lmao

Never had penetrative sex so I can't speak to that, but I remember the first time I fooled around fondly. However, those fond memories aren't about the acts themselves (which were predictably clumsy and not that pleasurable) but about the vulnerable intimacy afterwards. Just being naked in front of someone and feeling perfectly safe, without judgment, fully accepted regardless of any perceived physical imperfections. It's those tender moments which I cherish, especially as there have been precious few moments since where I've felt truly accepted for who I am.

I remember it fondly for sure.

it was later than many people I knew so it was a bit of a relief to finally do it. but it went great because I didn't try and rush it.

It was dogshit and every experience since was too. All the bad experiences is why I've not touched anyone for at least 6 years now :yea:

My story has unique enough details that I really shouldn't tell it here, but I will tell you in DM if you're interested.

The overview is that while it wasn't good, it wasn't awful either, it was just ridiculous and silly and attracted a large non-human audience 😂🤦

Oh yeah, my first time was nice. We were at a cool (very queer) party with a bunch of my friends (I still have a few polaroids from it! physical images, imagine). I thought it was really sweet that they checked if I was under the influence first (they didn't want to take advantage of me). We had a good time!

Still have yet to have sex with an AFAB person, interestingly enough.

My first time having penetrative sex was on my honeymoon, and I think we both realized we'd been mislead by our upbringing and pop culture. You go your entire life thinking things will snap into place like magnets and biology will just take over, but our experience was kind of awful. We were both nervous and stressed, and nobody had really taught us that things simply don't work when you're psychologically insecure.

We can laugh at it in retrospect, but it was really an eye-opening moment for us.

I feel like that's one of those things that very few people have a fond memory of. Mine was just awkward.

There's a lot of pressure around it when you're a teen, and that leads to a lot of unenthusiastic yes situations.

it was awkward and kinda sucked

best part of sex is like, learning what your partner likes and getting really good at it.

First attempt was memorably bad, and indirectly led to the end of a 2-year relationship. You tend not to forget something like that, and in my case I sort of obsessively over-analyzed it for years after the fact, trying to figure out what I needed to do to prevent something similar from happening in future relationships.

First real-actual time was with a different (and more experienced) partner who was just as pent-up as I was. Again, the circumstances surrounding it were weird enough that a lot of the details are lodged in my brain to this day, but overall, it was a positive experience in spite of the punctured waterbed, the rickety cot walking its way across the cold concrete floor of the basement, and my mother almost walking in on us when she came home while we were in the shower together. Honestly, though? It's still something I try not to think about, because all of that happened with someone who just ended up using and manipulating me later on.

So to answer your question, I guess it's possible to have a positive and even momentous first time, but still associate it with a great deal of shame and emotional trauma.

I had a lot of issues with sexual dysfunction when I was younger, so yeah the first time and many many of the times afterwards were not so great. Things are better now, thankfully

The first person I really deeply loved and cared for I remember the more tender moments than sex. Sex is nice but just being there comfortable with that person is what I connect with more strongly.

Mine was awkward as shit and most people I know say the same thing. It's more of a cringey memory than anything, that's what happens when you're both awkward kids who don't know wtf you're doing

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My first time was a hat trick with my best friend's girlfriend in a cheap motel. It was a lot of fun.

My firsts were good personally.

First time I got head was mutual, in high school, over 12 years ago. (Not where you think it's going) Went to an all boys school, student at our all girls sister school I was friends with doing musicals/plays came out to me as trans, transitioned years later. I was their beard initially but we fooled around a few times.

First time I got laid was at 18 with my sister's friend during a trip. They were 12 or 13 years older. Everybody got drunk, we went to bed together. Both woke up in the morning and got busy, dated for a few years after.

We were dating for two months, and we did like weeks of outside stuff, and I thankfully have the insight to wait till everyone was sober. So "sex" for the first time was pretty good. I recommend everyone go this way.

It is an exaggerated concept, for sure. It can be an important and formative experience, but it's from person to person. I lost my V-card to knife-play and the whole experience was spectacular. But like, my second partner was kind of a shit-show and I came out of it a sadder, but wiser man.

There's the romanticized version of prom night with your highschool sweetheart, which I've rarely heard of actually happening. Then for most people it's an awkward event. There's a lot of misinformation for young people and their first time - mothers who speak in euphemism and project their own disenchantment on it, fathers who won't talk about it, porn being easily accessed by kids... Usually a person's first time is weird or not great.

First time was with first gf, didnt like it and i didnt like her.

Killed my desire to ever be romantic for someone

Yes because he me made me measure my dick with a ruler he kept by his bed

looking forward to it, but looks like I will never get to sleep with anyone

My first was definitely a positive experience. It was my high school (and later college) girlfriend. We'd been together for almost a year by the time we did it, had fooled around extensively in other ways (and so knew each other's bodies and likes pretty well). We talked openly about it before we did it, decided we both wanted to, and made sure to use a condom even though she was on birth control. It was sweet and fun and a great memory. I'm still friends with her, and she and her husband give my wife and me free weed that they grow in their back yard. All around very cool and wholesome.

If it's possible you're supposed to remember it with fondness. Why would you do something voluntarily with the expectation of poor outcomes and memories?

I think the key is forgetting all expectation of you/your sex and of your frailties. It is what it is; work with it.

I refer it with fondness. My childhood was so messed up that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it wasn't. I got lucky. Not being an arsehole helps.

I definitely remember it, but I also suffer from an extremely good memory lol.

im still waiting for the consensual first time tbf