Shampoo

…and they’re both just repackaged Suave®…

48% less hog fat? Shrinkflation strikes again.

In return, Women get to smell like coconuts and vanilla, while we men are relegated to scents like "burnt charcoal and 7 year old engine oil"

* Can not legally be called "shampoo"

Ah, a sham-shampoo.

Same as the shower gel, where there are lots of "flavours" and then some just labelled "MEN" with no indication of what they smell of.^[Engine oil and Swarfega]

Does nobody use 17 in 1 hair detergent, body wash, conditioner, deoderant, moisturizer, hand soap, shaving cream, beard oil, lip balm, callous remover, hand sanitizer, bubble bath solution, epsom salt, dandruff treatment, cologne, hair gel, and junk defunker anymore?

10-in-one from hair to car

Then the fuckers start putting more perfumes in it.

Goddamn, that pisses me off. Had to find another AIO shampoo that didn't make my eyes burn when I used it. Used Pert for 20+ years until some marketing asshat forgot who the demographic was.

From your hair, to your car, to your industrial kiln, Shimpoo will make it shine.

I went to get a massage for the first time. You can have a scent during your massage, so I was like why not? So they listed a huge list of smells and flavors. And one of the scents they had was cedar. Of course I picked that one. The masseuse was immediately like "I would say like 80% of all of the guys that come in here pick cedar." No regrets, it smelled great. Reminded me of woodworking.

Jimmy: "Mane n' Tail." Is this horse shampoo?

Chazz: Yes, it is.

Jimmy: Do you use this stuff on your hair?

Chazz: Uh-huh.

Jimmy: "For a lustrous coat." Does this actually work?

Chazz: You bet your ass it does. It makes my hair shine like Orion's belt...

--== B L A D E S / O F / G L O R Y ==--

They forgot to add a list of ingredients that makes it sound like it is a fruit salad.

95% similarity in ingredients, save for a small amount of extra moisturizer and scenting in the wife's.

Those are both fancy. I use bicarb

Women sometimes have big vats of products too. I learned years ago that if my SO had a large bottle of lotion it cost $5.99, but the 3 oz. bottle was $59.99.

In the Netherlands, they stick English on packaging for prestige rather than French. Makes me laugh fairly often to see.

Shimpoo also doubles as all purpose lubricant, engine oil, degreaser, pipe declogger, raticide, barbecue sauce, hair pomade, and SPF 50+ sunscreen.

"Essence of Whispered Dreams."
That actually sounds crazy cool, I would definitely buy that for my wife if it was available. Also the color is absolutely perfect.

Wait till I tell you about the $1000s I spend on skin care…yep I said it

*has totally been looked at by a dermatologist

Samurai shampoo

I stopped using shampoo. My hair and skin have never been better. Shampoo takes away the skin oils, so the skin needs to compensate by producing more skins oils, making your hair greasy. Stop using shampoo makes it worse for a week, then it gets better and the hair stops being greasy. Shampoo is just an unnecessary addiction.

In college we just used a communal refill sized jug of softsoap.

At my family's house, the men's shampoo is of the same brand and packaging as some of the women's shampoo, just with less floral names like "ocean" and "gingham legend," whatever that's supposed to mean.

Painfully accurate.

This is so close. I make my own washing powder with some sketchy russian powdered curd soap probably made of animal fat. Cheap and efficient while smelling neutral.

This feels like a boomer joke.

I just buy a large bottle of 3-in-1 shampoo + bodywash that smells reasonable enough and call it a day.

Umm the incel right can't meme? Or a commentary on CPG industry?