Older women, women with weight changes or visible disabilities, or transfolk of Lemmy - how has the male gaze changed for you?
Older women, women with weight changes or visible disabilities, or transfolk of Lemmy - how has the male gaze changed for you?
Hello ladies (current and former) of Lemmy (current) - I'm curious how your experience of the male gaze has changed as you moved in and out of young-woman-hood.
How has your opinion of being seen changed through this process?
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When I was young I was thin and the guys came on like mosquitoes. Now I’m older and I weigh 248 pounds and get around on a mobility scooter. Men scramble out of the way like frightened squirrels when I approach. There is no male gaze unless it’s fear. It doesn’t help that personal hygiene has become difficult lately.
Thank you for commenting. Do you miss it, or are you glad to be rid of creeps?
Now that's a hot take here lol
Men looking at women are creeps? Guess im a creep. :)
We all look at people for many reasons including sexual interest. It's creepy when someone feels your amorous intent, I think. At least when it's from someone with whom the subject doesn't perceive a romantic relationship.
Yes of course. But have you noticed how everyone assumes that men are staring and making women feel uncomfortable despite nothing like that was expressed?
I've also seen jokes about dicks that everyone seem to think is funny, but when someone mentions actual attraction, the thread goes nuts. :)
The top level comment was deleted by now, so I'm not sure about the context. But Theres a difference between looking and staring.
Nobody said staring. :)
You should be ashamed of yourself
Lol, it's just not politically correct these days. :)
Human attraction is at the core of human existence and I think it's silly to act like it doesn't exist every day.
You can look. But you can’t be an ass about it. You can’t leer.
I don't know why and I know that I shouldn't think like that but your question sounds rude at best.
I certainly don't mean to be rude. Thank you for pointing it out, though.
Do you have access to any healthcare services?
A good CNA can help you figure out how to manage hygiene as long as you have some degree of upper body mobility. I mean, obviously, an occupational therapist or physical therapist is going to be better, and be able to offer a wider range of options, but without a way to pay for those, it can be out of reach for self pay. But an hour or two of CNA time is usually within budgetary reach. Other pros can help too, but again, they'd be more expensive.
You can sometimes find a local disability support group, and the difficulty with tasks like bathing, brushing teeth, etc is a pretty common topic. You don't automatically get trained advice, but you do get practical tips from people that may well be better.
I mean, sure, 248lbs isn't exactly thin, especially since you never said height, but at my biggest I was 315 and could still walk.
There has to be more going on here....I'm so confused why being that weight would confine you so much. Yes, personal hygiene does get a bit more difficult. More hard to reach places.....but scrub brushes on sticks exist.
Personal hygiene can suffer when you are deep in a depressive episode. Mobility might also be compromised due to a disability or chronic pain and not directly weight related.
Top level comment was deleted, but I was 220 at 5’ before I lost weight and I was still very mobile, hygienic, and wearing cute clothes. Maybe they deleted because they didn’t want to talk about what else was going on.
It was quite a personal comment, and it seemed likely to get only moreso. I don't blame them for deleting it.