My money says we're looking at the Unnamed GOP Staffers Complaining that They Can't Get Dates in DC in a Slate/Atlantic Human Interest Piece Class of 2033.
Nah, unless these dorks are connected, the best they're gonna get is moving up to a higher class of flunky for whatever representative or senator they get stuck under
It's weird how I always recognize it right away even though I've never even been to DC. I think it's because the architecture is very memorable (and that particular platform/station?) has been used in movies enough times that on a subconscious level it has been in my mind from when I was a boy.