This is my preferred way off doing things, but trying to glue VSCode + Android Studio + the Flutter SDK + Docker + ... together via Flatpack was an exercise in pain and sadness last time I tried it.
Getting all my normal boring desktop apps via Flatpack is awesome, but for a developer it just doesn't seem practical right now
I do see you mentioning problems without showing any solutions.
That's kind of the point, there really isn't a clear solution for a hassle free and up to date experience.
Arch is kinda that? But it's very much so a YMMV situation.
Debian with flatpaks is... kinda that? But any bugs persist forever, and it's not really that easy for development.
Fedora silverblue is... kinda that? But you're forced into using containers, some people swear by it, but idk I dont wanna reproduce my whole set up for every single framework I use.