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Oh yeah I remember when I felt like that for a while (approx. 20 years). Turns out it's was some thing the doctor called "severe ADHD"
Same.
Executive dysfunction be like.
Depression can hit this way, too. You can be apathetic towards everything, no motivation, stuck in your head. It can be easy to get caught in a downward spiral, trapped in the vortex of negativity you no longer feel in control of.
[waves from the bottom of the vortex]
The apathy is probably the worst part. Like, I know this thing I need to do is important and that not doing it will have some very negative consequences, but I just don't care enough to do it. Then, last-minute panic sets in and I half-ass it, which is still good enough, but it hurts that I could do so much more if my brain wasn't malfunctioning like that.
It's hard, especially when you become aware of it. You have to try to build motivation out of what feels like nothing.
You've probably heard this before, but does it help breaking things into smaller steps? It's something that really worked for me when I was having the depression slump into anxiety panic-rush.
Start with something already quick and easy, and cut it into more steps. If it takes you 5 minutes, see if you can cut it into two parts. It can seem illogical, but giving yourself those little breaks can help build a mental muscle, a way of showing yourself "Hey, I can do this" without being overwhelming, and giving yourself plenty of time if you need more in-between, especially at first.
Small goals are still accomplishments, especially when it's the best we can do, and a little victory can go a long way.
(And, of course, when/if you can, professional help can be amazing. It can suck trying to find a good doctor, but once you do, it really can change things.)
It’s definitely a struggle. Personally even small steps I find are hard to do sometimes. Little motivation. Feeling overwhelmed at the world around me as things go out of my control.
Some days I’ll feel a bit better and be able to get some stuff done. Others I’m just so apathetic and don’t feel like doing anything at all.
Depression sucks.