My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn't involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I'm glad at least I didn't stay quiet about it.
I'll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger "burn after 5 minutes in the sun"-white. Thus I don't personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it's even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.
One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me "wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!" Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.
I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don't work with her anymore.
Huh, you learn something every day. That's very interesting, but it must be so weird and confusing to experience this.
I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I'm new here, maybe we could get together? Or it's "does this tram go to x station?" and then, fuck, you're stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can't have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won't give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn't end there at all.
Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it's not every guy. We know it's not every guy. But most of us don't want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It's just not worth it. And yes, it's always guys who do this. I've never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I've never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I'm sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).
Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you'd been at it for a little bit and I'd seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it's a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn't about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.
Maybe in a minority, but definitely not alone. I agree completely. Does absolutely nothing for me when someone touches my breasts, like at all. They may as well just been touching my back or my arm. Nothing erotic about it. But you know, it's not like it's particularly unpleasant either, so I guess, who cares? At least they like it. :p Well, as long as they're not trying to actually pinch or bite my nipples because that's very uncomfortable, and at certain points during my cycle it's downright painful.
I know multiple people who don't even have a driver's license (and before I get comments about 'Europoors' -- No, it's not because of money, lol), including myself. Never needed one. Within the city I can walk, go by bike, there's buses and trams. For traveling farther (also internationally), there are trains. Most of the time I just walk everywhere. Multiple supermarkets within walking distance, train station within walking distance, bus stop in front of my door, tram stop 1 minute away.
My husband does have a license, but we own no car.
Can't imagine being forced to drive a car due to lack of other options. For a population very obsessed with so-called freedom, Americans seem to accept and demand very little freedom sometimes.
It's always the same disingenuous bullshit. I'd wager most people on here couldn't care less about Hamas. All Hamas members could drop dead right now and I wouldn't lose a second of sleep.
But somehow we're all Hamas supporters because we don't put a "I hate Hamas"-disclaimer above every comment about Israel. It's so terribly low-effort and transparent.
Thank you. I downloaded the book!
Also: the last update on the site. R.i.p.
Yeah, they really are adorable. I really like the top left one. It looks really weird without 'conventional' headlights, but I kinda dig it. But I'd want it in bright yellow, or lemon green, or something. Cute.
Edit: but I would change the rims, I want the bottom right rims.
Ah well, that's a good point. It's not like politicians never lie about their motivations either.
I thought it was because of religious nutjobs trying to force everyone else to live by their rules. I doubt that Kate and Joe down the block have some kind of pro-corporation-meatgrinder reason to be anti-choice.
I think what many people (and thus governments) don't want to accept is that maybe people just don't want kids. It always happens, when people are more educated and have better quality of life -- and access to contraception, they have fewer children. If money was really the defining factor, then why aren't all rich people having 10 kids? Why is the birth rate in countries like Finland (where they have a lot of social programs, high quality of life and support for parents) so low?
I am absolutely not denying that having no money factors into the decision to not have kids, for people who actually do want them. But we need to face it, a lot of people -when given the choice- just don't want kids. You can't pay me enough to have kids. I could be a billionaire and I wouldn't want kids. The only way you could make me have kids is by forcing me. And while typing this, suddenly I have the urge to erase it all, because I fear the day when governments finally realize what I typed above and they actually start forcing people to have kids.
Edit: I think what should happen is for us all to figure out how our society should work when global birth rate inevitably drops below replacement rate, and what we want from life other than infinite growth.
Likewise.
I just enjoy being alone a lot. Not lonely; alone. I love being alone, or at the very least left alone. Makes me feel relaxed and peaceful. I barely have enough to give one person, let alone a whole bunch of them.
I hadn't really thought about the link to education much. I kind of figured that democrats just have more.. deal breakers than republicans, mostly due to empathy (which.. I don't think it's linked to education?). If you don't like hurting people, if you care about other people (and not just the ones you know), then there will obviously be a lot of things you won't accept.
But caring about the truth and reality and science is important, so I guess you do have a point.
I made a deal with myself to go to bed at least an hour earlier than I usually would, just to read. I've read every night for the past ... I don't know how long, years anyway. I figured I would otherwise just waste this time on lemmy (or reddit in the past), and reading is a better use of my time than doomscrolling. ;) So I've been consistently going through books, even on days where I have little other free time.
But even so, I just have so many books I want to read. Wonder if I get to read everything I want to read before I go to my grave, and that's not even including all the books that haven't been written yet that I'll also want to read. :p
I've never had any other social media (aside from reddit and now lemmy) and I don't spend hours a day doomscrolling here. I'm thinking if I did that, I'd go crazy.
Everything in moderation. This definitely includes doomscrolling. Not good for your mental health.
This is what always got to me the most. Even if vaccines caused autism, wouldn't that be preferable to your kid dying? Like, what the fuck is wrong with these people.
Probably nothing. Even if you were rich enough to send a few trucks with food/medicine, it wouldn't gain entry. And all world governments are sitting around watching it, so not sure what ordinary citizens could do that would help these people in time (yes people can vote, but it won't be in time for a lot of these people, especially not if Israel gets to keep doing whatever in the meantime).
Well, let's not pretend any of us even 'need' American influence to become shitty. The entirety of Europe has apparently decided that it's been long enough since WW2 for us to give Fascism another try. Sure, the US influences the world, but we're more than capable of fucking things up ourselves.
While maybe not as bad as the US yet, that image can be recycled for Europe in a short while.
