I understand you, it's hard to tolerate your own brain not wanting to give you the motivation you think you need.
In my case, it helps to write down everything I need to do to accomplish my goal in individual simple tasks and then focusing in the ONE SIMPLE IMMEDIATE THING I need to do in order to do the next one.
Please don't push you too hard, we live in difficult times and struggling is normal, I believe the conditions will improve in the near future.
Once i got an entire toaster delivered on my mail box in an appartment complex, the thing was so crammed in there that to get it out we had to disarm the entire thing
No generative AI is to be trusted as long as it's controlled by organisations which main objective is profit. Can't recommend enough Noam Chomsky take on this: https://chomsky.info/20230503-2/