I've heard a trendy thing now is to only label one present as from Santa, the rest are from Mom and Dad. That way kids don't find out there's a huge disparity when they go back to school
Where is the "burnt out on corporate BS and not sure if I even like coding anymore, I just want to retire and sell shit on Etsy, too bad everything costs money" phase
You seem to be papering over the part where a shit ton of their own people died, so I don't think this really works as a pitch. You'd need to find a way to ensure that mass death wouldn't happen again, and then succinctly express it.
Mao was only about 70% good
Anyone who does mass executions is a fucking monster. Probably better to leave this out of the pitch.
Macoun may not be new and hip, but it's a solid, classic apple that deserves a higher score.