in addition to what others said, it l matters who is making the rules.
in my own home i make my own rules and they are subject to my discretion and may change whenever I want. and even if someone is following all my stated rules if I don't want them there, they aren't allowed to be there.
following a community's rules doesn't guarantee anything and the person making the rules has a right to remove or keep whoever they want. you have no right or expectation to remain in a community if the community owner doesn't want you there.
businesses and hoas and neighborhoods make the majority of their own rules but can be superseded by rules from the county, town, state, or federal government.
when a business runs afoul, a customer may bring a lawsuit to the higher authority. in lemmy communities, other than instance admins there are no higher authorities so you get what you get.
furthermore if we lived in a fully libertarian world where there were no higher authorities governing business (which is a closer analogy to lemmy) you would either have to deal with being discriminated against, or try to organize with other members of your community a boycott to pressure the business into behaving as you want through capitalism. you can do the same on lemmy. you can boycott a community or instance and try to guide others to better communities.
you got banned from an internet forum. not kicked out from a physical place serving goods. these are not the same. you are not a victim.
you don't have a right to force yourself onto an online community that doesn't want you there, regardless of how reasonable you feel your opinions are.
some people and mods on Lemmy have nanometer thin skin. it's kind of expected with the free for all nature of who can make a community and moderate it.
their communities will either die by natural selection because they've banned everyone who can participate. or they will become deep echo chambers. both of these are allowed and expected in the fediverse.
if you don't like their community and how they run things, make your own alternative community and run it the way you like. that is within your control. it is not within your control to change the behavior of every random human on the internet that does something in a way you don't like.
portland here. same issue. i have people who visit that refuse to leave my house because they are terrified of the city. many aren't even conservative and are liberal. propaganda has done it's work well. it's hilarious and sad.
i don't take these people seriously. they only EVER bitch about democrats. notice how many protests we had during the election and the amount of psyops targeting democrats and notice how everyone is basically silent now. maybe a few of those people actually exist but it's likely their handlers got them organized to go out and affect the election and they're not needed anymore since the desired outcome was met so the organizers/handlers disappeared.
that will never happen. even as they are starving and dehydrated from lack of food and clean water they will mutter with their dying breath "thanks Biden".
I used to be the golden child until I was an adult and became the black sheep of the family because I came out as gay, atheist, and Democrat.
My sister who was the problem child, smoked, drank, and fucked in her teenage years became the model Christian Republican wife with 2 kids so she's now the golden child.
But the real problem were my narcissistic parents.
Haven't had any serious connection with my parents in nearly 20 years now. That part has been going great getting them out of my life.
when I don't feel like cooking anything and can convince myself to stay home to eat here are my go tos:
get a rice cooker. an Asian one you get from the Asian supermarket or invest in a Zojirushi (white people rice cookers suck). they are super easy to use. you throw the rice in with some water and about 15-30 minutes later you have a fresh pot of rice. go watch a show while it finishes. if you can remember you can even start a pot before work or eat the rice from the previous day (as long as it was in the keep warm setting). it can also cook brown rice, other ancient grains, beans, lentils, etc.
eggs. fry the eggs and throw them on the rice with some soya sauce. takes like two minutes. my hack here is i have a Japanese tamagoyaki pan. it's small and perfect to cook a portion for a single person so i don't have to deal with and clean a giant skillet. i just rinse it out (if i remember) and leave it on the stove top for the next time I use it since I use it so often.
toaster oven chicken thigh. i get like those ten packs of chicken thighs at the supermarket. throw one on with some salt and pepper (and other spices if you feel like it) onto a small sheet pan. drizzle with olive oil and stick it in my toaster oven (which is a convection toaster oven) for 30 minutes at 350degF and you get delicious roast chicken. the toaster oven is a great hack for lots of foods actually (including toast) since you don't have to deal with preheating a huge oven. i don't even usually preheat it at all. takes about the same time as the rice so i can take 5 minutes to start both at the same time go watch an episode of DanDanDan and have a chicken and rice dinner ready when it's done.
salad mix and premade dressing. get kale mixes. they take longer to go bad. they are prewashed. all you do is throe dressing on and you're good. adding more toppings is up to you.
those tiny tomatos. rinse them and eat them on their own or on your salad.
cucumbers. again in the no-cook veggie category. just rinse and chop roughly. top with soya or vinegar and salt. get english or persian cucumbers since the skin on normal cucumbers isnt very nice. they now even have tiny ones you probably don't even need to cut through the power of science.
roast broccoli/cauli/other veggie in the toaster oven. when you do your chicken break off a few florets of broccoli and throw it on the pan with the chicken when you're seasoning and oiling. voila, roast broccoli done at the same time as the chicken.
i don't do all of these everyday. some days i just have energy to do one like make rice and top it with dried seaweed or cheese. still better then eating out or ramen everyday (though I still eat ramen sometimes -- but it's usually more effort since i usually fancy it up with eggs and kimchi [another hack i forgot-if you like kimchi-buy a jar of the stuff and throw it on rice. great meal on its own])
and visit your Asian supermarket once a month. their frozen sections are filled with premade crap you can just microwave but are still good quality like potstickers or scallion pancakes and they are usually cheaper to shop at
it's nice you all found well balanced queer people to befriend but keep in mind we also may not be as mentally put together as you perceive. i say this as a gay dude with lots of issues.
lemmy trends very anti-reddit and in general is very strict about the kinds of views you are allowed to have here. the idea of wanting to go back to reddit is a very big no-no here.
i generally mesh well with about 80% of lemmy ideology but if I ever speak out about that 20% I tend to get downvoted to oblivion
creeper