peppersky [he/him, any] @ peppersky @hexbear.net

Posts

5

Comments

1,147

Joined

2 yr. ago

No idea what outside you people have but the outside where I am at does anything other than make me sane

I try to be a normal well adjusted human being so why is there something just so completely deeply wrong with me that I just cannot function at all in any way in this society.

miss those times back when I had a friend group and a group chat that would always reply within half an hour.

i really need to get on some antidepressants or some shit because godfuckingdamnit its like theres absolutely no connection between what's going on in my life and what im feeling like, like things are actually kinda going ok right now but i still feel like complete garbage like more than half the time. but if all antidepressants make my dick not work (i might find some use for that thing at some point in my life) or if they just make me not feel stuff in general (goddamnit i want to fall in love) i don't want them

love how in a world of ridiculous cultural overproduction there's like 2 good games coming out a year, maybe a handful of actually good movies you can actually see in the cinema and like don't get me started on music. all of culture is just like a car stuck deep in mud and everyone is just pushing on the gas pedal digging themselves in deeper and deeper

made some vegan picadello with lentils and sweet potato, really tasty stuff if anyone wants any there's still a lot in the fridge (will probably taste even better tomorrow). its the raisins which really make it

This life really isn't it ya know

Also I've never seen a dead guy walk in real life like ever

I'm a huge beach boys fan, Brian wilson had a pretty sad rough life and I really hope he was happy these last few years. There are few bands that can give you as much as the beach boys can.

Any ways to become a productive decently paid member of society and as such worthy of romantic love when you are thirty and have no marketable skills whatsoever

Capitalism has always been "ramping up" and will always be "ramping up". Having colonized the world two times over and having raised productivity fourfold without actually paying anyone more, having turned everything into advertisement and having sold everyone's attention span to the lowest bidder, the endless extraction of profit continues on unabatedly, slowly eroding all substance anything and anyone ever had.

maybe but im pretty sure most people dont use wikipedia anymore anyway

i want to go on a cool trip with cool friends and take acid with them

i had a very nice day on saturday with the one friend i have in this city, we had coffee, we went to the museum, to her place to eat something and then to the movies and it was very nice and she told me i give her energy when she doesn't have any and asked for us to make plans this week, but now that ive asked her about making those plans she says she'll probably be too tired after work to do anything and she needs a short break and like thats all reasonable and stuff but fuck man i dont ever feel too tired to do something with my friends ever. i dont want to take a break. being alone doesn't give me any energy. being with my friends doesn't drain my energy. i want to do stuff. doing stuff is fun. i want to do stuff with my friends. the stuff that is making me tired is everything else in life.

is this just what life is going to be like from now on, just everyone being too tired and busy to do stuff and then we die? i dont want to live like this. im crying. i don't want to cry. i want to be happy and make the people around me happy. but they don't want me to make them happy i guess. this is not good

nobody wants to do anything with me nobody wants to party with me

nothing i do comes together in any way everything in my life are individually ok experiences that have nothing to do with one another in any meaningful way, they don't synergize, they dont come together, this is not a way to live

nothing is happening

how many thousands upon thousands of bucks would you need to spend on furniture so that it doesn't come half-broken from the factory

is there any music thats actually angry. not like fake-punk-angry or fake hip hop angry but actually angry