That's what I did last night. Complimented outfits, hair, shoes. I had my pride pin on (necklace, technically), but no one wanted to engage more than just saying hi.
Yes, hormones, surgery, general healthcare. Before I got this job, i was an STI nurse, and I worked with a lot of queer folks, and I found it very rewarding.
For instance, during the Mpox outbreak, I spent Pride giving vaccines and talking to people about their risk of contracting it. Everyone was really appreciative, and I felt like I had made a positive impact.
When I went out that night to the queer dance event, I felt completely invisible. Since I'm not visibly queer, it seemed no one wanted to interact with me in more than surface level chats. On other occasions, when I go to gay bars, I get outright hostility more often than not, or at best, I'm ignored.
I am still looking for other places- I'm in a new city, but so far my experience has been much the same as before. While I don't want to give up on personal relationships, I also know that I am able to get much of the feeling of community I seek from work, and so that's the avenue I've been pursuing because it's been better for my own mental health.
I had my pride pin on last night. And I completely agree that it's a personal thing and something people don't always want to talk about. That's why I was thinking some kind of code that says, "Hey, I'm here for you if you need it," without being overt.
My experience with LGBT groups and trans groups in particular has been really negative, but my experiences as a provider are always very rewarding (I hope my patients would say that as well).
I've been trying to get out into the world and meet folks, that's why I went to this event and tried to make some friends, but at the end of the day, I wasn't able to connect with anyone. Going home got me thinking about what I could do to be more a part of the community while also accepting that I am, in many ways, not a part of it.
I've had really bad experiences with LGBT groups/events, especially trans events, in the past. Working in a professional capacity has been the most rewarding way for me to feel connected, while also (hopefully) using some of the privilege I have to help others.
I'm working on online guides at work right now, so maybe I can upload those at some point if folks are interested.
Support is important. Being trans means being a minority, and that means being exposed to minority stress. There's a significant segment of the population that hates us (not because they really do, but because they've been conditioned to).
Being trans, especially during the transition period, is fucking hard,and it's about 10x worse when Fox News is shoveling hate as fast and far as they can.
I've had a lot of really negative experiences since transitioning, especially in the workplace. But I've also found some of the most meaningful relationships and a career that feels like I've found my purpose.
There's lots of good and lots of bad, and that's why support systems are . If you're in an area that is hostile with no support, you might want to look at non-social forms of affirmation. If you're in a supportive or even neutral community with some kind of pereonal support system, then you have a real chance of living your best life.
If you're somewhere in between, I suggest weighing the risks and benefits and going from there.
At the start, doing exercises to stretch your vocal chords and generally just practice is the most important thing. You can worry about fine detail later- a big part is training your muscle fibers to do what you want, and like any muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. In this case strength won't lead to power, but rather, control.
Pitch is the last thing to work on. Resonance is the most important aspect (if your goal is to pass). Intonation is very important as well, and there are certain ways of speaking that are associated with cis female voices, like upward inflection at the end of a sentence.
It takes time- with a good clinician in a well supported program, someone who is out and using their new voice, it may take as little as 6 months. Doing it alone via the internet, it will likely take longer (especially if you're not out - practice is key!) so don't get discouraged. Just practice, practice, practice!
The shower and the car (if you have one) are generally safe places to practice, and since we travel and bath everyday (ideally), it can be a good way to work in consistent practice.
Overall - amazing. I would stress and worry about whether or not people knew, or could somehow tell, or anytime I dressed I was so anxious whether or not someone would find out.
Not having that cloud hanging over me or in the back if my mind is wonderful.
It's not all roses though. My conservative parents and I have a strained relationship at best. My dating life is non-existent, and I've come to terms with being alone. Sometimes I question whether it was worth it, although I inevitably come back to realizing the frequency of my current doubts are a tiny fraction of the anxiety and questions I had before.
If it's safe, go for it. If it's not safe, work to get to a place that is, and go for it. We only have one life.
The problem is the American system of democracy as it is currently organized is too geared to protect the interests of the ruling class.
I compellingly agree that ranked choice or proportional representation would alleviate many of the issues we have, but, unlike many epochs of human history, we are literally running out of time.
No, like my initial comment said, number and types of partners are important, as are your partners' partners.
If you actually read my comment, you can see I'm trying to get people to look past the stigma and actually determine what kinds of risks they have and make safer sex decisions accordingly.
PrEP can have some uncomfortable side effects, and not everyone is able to tolerate it. There are very, very few things in healthcare that we can say "everyone" in a certain cohort should do, and PrEP is no exception.
Your response, which characterizes my post as misinformation, is inaccurate, as I have shown, but I do appreciate the chance to talk about sex and try to normalize it as part of the healthcare discussion 😊
mjsaber @ mjsaber @lemmy.blahaj.zone Posts 10Comments 178Joined 2 yr. ago
I'm working to set up connections to folks in Canada that will be willing to relocate LGBTQ folks across the border.