lightnsfw @ lightnsfw @reddthat.com

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2 yr. ago

That's a stretch.

Maybe not a full blown slum but definitely slum adjacent up until we moved when I was in grade school. I don't remember ever going without anything at home but my surroundings were pretty awful. I had my shoes stolen multiple times while I was riding the bus and would get chased home by older kids wanting to take my backpack and stuff or just beat me up. I remember me and the girl in my class who lived next door rushing to try and get there first every day so we could sit near the front and hopefully get off fast and get away to not get fucked with. Crime in the area was also really bad and there were a lot of break ins. The worst thing I remember was a lady up the street from us had a couple guys break into her home and they raped her in front of her kids. I think living in that environment fucked me up a little bit because I had all kinds of social issues at the new school after we moved. My brother was younger and never had to deal with any of that stuff and he turned out pretty normal.

I haven't even seen him accidentally do something decent since he got back in office. It's truly impressive.

I had a GF try to cheat with a friend of mine once ( he declined her advances and showed me the texts). I was like, buddy, you might as well have took her up on it. I'm done with her either way. It's on the person in the relationship to not cheat. Obviously if my friend had been harassing her it would have been a different story but she was fully open to him fucking her.

Maybe we can both lighten the fuck up.

Certainly couldn't hurt... This did remind me of the time some random dude in the shampoo isle at target started a conversation with me about my watch. It's not a particularly nice watch or anything but he had just bought one himself and was excited to talk to someone about it. It kind of weirded me out at first but it wasn't a bad experience overall.

If you call me with a request to do work or give me important information, I will tell you to text or email that to me.

Same I end every meeting where someone asks me to do something with a request for them to email me spelling it out. I don't care if we covered all the ins and outs verbally and I already made notes, I want a paper trail of their expectations. The intention really being to train them that meeting first is a waste of time and they should just email me in the first place. If I don't understand what you want I'll set up a call.

Madonna-whore complex

I've been reading up on this and I'm not sure that's exactly it. I certainly don't despise women or want to degrade them regardless of whether I'm interested in them sexually or not and I'm really not sexually attracted to women I would think of as "whores" (that's not really the word I would use except maybe for an actual prostitute, but I assume they mean sexually promiscuous women). I did have a cold but over-bearing mother though so maybe there is something to this. Maybe there is a spectrum and I'm on the lesser end of it.

Thinking about it more I think it's more due to something with the rejection aspect of it. If I spend enough time with a woman and nothing physical happens it's like I switch into "platonic mode" even if they are physically attractive. I've had the same thing happen in romantic relationships where my girlfriend had a much lower libido than me and it just got to the point where we were barely physically intimate at all because they were shooting me down 90% of the time and I just stopped trying because feel like they're not interested and it's just making them feel pressured or annoying them, and feeling I was shitty about myself when I get shot down, so I just reject myself for them until they signal otherwise (which almost never actually happened). This also led me getting lazier with other aspects of the relationship and eventually falling apart because it's hard to make an effort when you're always feeling like you're missing out on one of the best parts (IMO) of being in a relationship. Which again kind of goes against the Madonna complex (at least as I understood it) because that seems to indicate you stay with the "pure" partner you love, which in my case it was kind of the opposite. I was willing to deal with a lot more toxicity to stay with the "whore" partners because they were fulfilling me sexually.

Anyway, thanks for the response it was an interesting rabbit-hole. My experience really isn't that hellish (at least due to this issue) I feel like I'm coping pretty well in my social life without the romantic aspect. People like me, I like them. It's all good. Sometimes a little lonely but that's a pretty rare feeling honestly.

I used to manage a team of people who were all remote except one and myself. It's not hard. You set expectations and they either meet them or they don't and you address those issues. I do think some of them struggled due to working from home creating a "barrier" to asking for help when you don't know your coworkers as well, but I did everything I could think of to reduce that so they'd feel comfortable reaching out via teams (creating group chats, designating "helpers", etc) or even coming into the office if they chose but there were very mixed results and in general things were worse than when we were primarily working from the office. I don't think the problem is working from home, it was communication skills and some people just lacking the discipline to not goof off when they are at home (I'm one of these, I need an office environment to focus). That is a case by case thing though that needs to be addressed with the individual.

The only gendered part about it was "especially as a young woman" which implies that either men or women could be asked that question. Unless something has changed recently and only women can wear band shirts now. But whatever, I'm sorry my post offended you. I didn't intend for it to be dismissive towards women.

I wasn't asking a particular gender. I was asking people in general. I don't wear band shirts so I was curious what those who did had experienced. I've never witnessed it even when I was younger and band shirts were practically the dress code. The original screenshot isn't even gendered so I'm not sure where this hostility is coming from.

Testosterone is a hell of a drug. I’ve known a few guys who have had at least one gf they only stayed with for the sex and were just putting up with her the rest of the time. Those…generally aren’t very good or healthy relationships. Most of them eventually get out of that mindset and (at least try to) find someone they like being with first and also want to fuck besides.

I've been guilty of that and I've definitely felt that "ok, I came, I'd rather be alone now." thing described in the post. Regular sex goes a long way in keeping me interested and the most toxic women I've been with have always been the best at it. There are women in my life who I like spending time with but that kind of kills my desire to have sex with them. It's like subconsciously I'm thinking "why would I want to ruin this by bringing sex into it?" or maybe it feels like I'm degrading them if I think about them sexually or I don't want to take advantage of them. I'm not really sure what's going on with me there. I mostly just don't date these days because I have my single life figured out pretty well and bringing someone else into it is always so disruptive and I really don't get enough out of it to be worth the stress. At least this way I'm not fucking anyone else up with my bullshit.

I don't see how anyone can look at those prices and not immediately cancel the transaction. Also the idea of some rando handling my food unsupervised is not appealing.

They're saying their mental illness is to blame for their addiction to having fast food delivered and if you don't think they are entitled to these services you are a bigot.

You and I are very different people. I don't care if I had the bands entire discography memorized, there is no way I'm rewarding that behavior.

So Indians are in this case bad because they are… particularly likely to be Musk stans? Forgiving of rich people who fall from grace?

I don't know anything about Indian people to comment on how they are but in general, yes if you have an ounce of forgiveness for Elon or anyone like him you are a bad person. His kind should have absolutely nowhere to turn to at this point after the damage they've done. They're beyond salvation, anything less than excommunicating them from society is enabling them.

I knew a Cody grade but I don't have any memories of him after that. Theory checks out..m

People who wear band shirts, does this actually happen?

Post the files then you fucking asshole.

To be fair making cyborg cockroaches is way easier.

Yeah, I couldn't even tell you what my background is. I used to have a slideshow of them.