The problem with this is, and it drives me crazy, I keep hearing "if we talked to them-"
I'm a woman! They won't talk to me! Or, if they do, it's to tell me why I'm wrong, because I'm a woman! This isn't something I can deprogram away!
And trust me, I've deprogrammed right-wing shitheads before, who weren't also misogynists. I can't do shit for the ones who aren't willing to talk to me. And the worst part? I have gotten lots of seemingly hopeless people into committed, loving, long-term relationships through the power of just listen to me, I can help you, but nooooo! I have breasts! I'm almost 40! I have a happy, long-term relationship, and I'm a woman, so what can I possibly know!
I'm sick to death of 'we just need to-' No we don't, because we can't. Men need to. Men need to break through this toxic bullshit because we, and by this I mean, women, literally can't. And trying- and trust me on this because I've tried- trying only gets abuse.
I really can't underscore this enough. The wall I come up against is, what do you know, you're a woman. "We" can't talk our way out of this one. The problem of toxic masculinity intentionally boxes women out, making it nigh impossible for women to help.
I support any woman having access to whatever she needs to manage their menstruation, because they're fucking awful. But I've never personally been a fan of putting anything in there for any extended period. I assume anything we use for this purpose is poison, since science didn't even treat women as people who exist until relatively recently.
Please don't believe literally anything you read that references procreation genetics. It turns out, humans are complicated, wars happen, some people value people for their feet more than their faces... there's literally no data that's concrete enough to be valuable enough, and anyone telling you otherwise is doing so either because they're lying to themselves, to you, or selling something.
Source: having read quite a lot of it over my many years on this earth, and watching it be destroyed time and again. Hell, I could write a paper arguing that people typically choose mates based on their appearance, their intelligence, their height, their income, their geography, their history of family trauma,their interests, their smell... And find documentation of various dubiousness to support each argument.
Oh also I hate how it's impossible to find a group to like... do fitness with. That isn't full of creepy dudes. Or people who get mad at you for wanting to lose weight. It's not fat shame, I just really like lifting, and feel better when I have less weight on me!
It feels like it's just doomed to be a thing I do alone. ; _ ;
But the more helpful answer is; I break it down into as many steps as possible in a document or on a piece of paper. Then, when looking at all that is overwhelming, I take the first few steps and put them on their own document. And then I plan a break after those.
And at the end of the break I take the next few.
Now you might be wondering- "flicker, what if I look at that list, and I still can't figure out where to start?"
And my answer is, if I made the list of steps and it still seems like too much, I try making a list for those steps.
But I also treat it like an addict does kicking their addiction.
This huge list might seem like a lot, but even if I can't do it all, even if I can't do much? I can do this one thing. I put on music to make it easier to tolerate, or TV in the background, or both, and resolve to do just one thing.
Because there's times when one thing is too many. So if I do one, I beat that record.
If I do the one thing, I might do another? But that's to decide after the one thing. Just doing one is a big deal. We will start there.
For a week in high school I worked in a call center as a telemarketer. Selling magazines. My best friend got suckered into it and, not knowing better, dragged me into it.
None of us got paid. They'd set up a call center in an office block, do like 4 hours of training, then make people cold call all day for two or three weeks. Then they'd shut down overnight, pull all the equipment, and move.
Evil operations. But it did give me a chance to see first hand (at like 15) that most people in those jobs were being exploited.
I promised last week pics and recipe for the pink cake cupcakes.
Well I made them on Wednesday and they were terrible! I was following the recipe and realized... the recipe wasn't great! What a massive waste of ingredients!
I'll make it up to y'all, though. I'll do some tartlets or a different, better recipe and post it in the next month or so.
flicker @ flicker @lemmy.dbzer0.com Posts 14Comments 1,098Joined 8 mo. ago
The problem with this is, and it drives me crazy, I keep hearing "if we talked to them-"
I'm a woman! They won't talk to me! Or, if they do, it's to tell me why I'm wrong, because I'm a woman! This isn't something I can deprogram away!
And trust me, I've deprogrammed right-wing shitheads before, who weren't also misogynists. I can't do shit for the ones who aren't willing to talk to me. And the worst part? I have gotten lots of seemingly hopeless people into committed, loving, long-term relationships through the power of just listen to me, I can help you, but nooooo! I have breasts! I'm almost 40! I have a happy, long-term relationship, and I'm a woman, so what can I possibly know!
I'm sick to death of 'we just need to-' No we don't, because we can't. Men need to. Men need to break through this toxic bullshit because we, and by this I mean, women, literally can't. And trying- and trust me on this because I've tried- trying only gets abuse.
I really can't underscore this enough. The wall I come up against is, what do you know, you're a woman. "We" can't talk our way out of this one. The problem of toxic masculinity intentionally boxes women out, making it nigh impossible for women to help.