When people dismiss children's concerns. Maybe to adults is not a big deal, but to kids it does matter. I make an effort to pay attention and listen when a child tells me something.
Paraphrasing something I read somewhere "Do we open a book just to close it again?" That for me, it means that it is not merely for doing something that we exist, but to tell stories, to pass on knowledge, to keep rituals alive, to be a vessel for something beyond ourselves. The important part, same as books, is to tell stories. Everything sparks from there.
My sibling's class was having a biology lesson on the circulatory system that day and they were supposed to open up the little hamster to watch his tiny heart beat inside its cracked ribcage. The teacher asured them that because of chloroform, the hamster wouldn't feel a thing. Sibling, horrified, bought the critter from the kid who brought it to school for the experiment for a quarter so when mom pivked us up that day from school, we had an extra passenger.
Next day we went and got all the hamster paraphernalia we could pay for with our savings and set her up in my sibling's room. Two days after this, the hamster gave birth to a whole litter. Mom was very angry and disgusted, but it wasn't for long because, out of stress I think, the hamster started eating her young. She ate them all and next morning we found her dead stuck between the cage wall and the exercise wheel.
I was a sensitive child and this whole event added to my already exisiting CPTSD.
Me and my sibling were tired of my mom eavesdropping whenever so we learned another language to communicate between us. It would drive her crazy but she never bothered to learn to speak said language, so that's on her.
Native spanish, fluent english, conversational german, few phrases in arabic. Can read latin and ancient greek at school level.
Went to bilingual schools all the way through grade school, lived in different places around the world for short periods of time.
Hmmm I'd say that the worst felt/feels at times, like an electric shock that keeps going until it disipates and I can stop and sob for a bit so I can sort of function after it.
The best felt like a burst of heat and warmth that first time and now the memory of it feels like basking in the sun while humming something nice.
So I think they are both impactful in different ways. One completely incapacitates me because of how awful it was but the other gives me strength to keep on loving my life and keep finding the beauty in everyday things.
I guess it also depends on culture. In Latinamerica many people consider birthdays a big deal so forgetting it would be considered a faux pas.
For me personally I care if my partner and close friends remember, coworkers, my dentist, etc. I don't give a damn but if they so happen to congratulate me or send a gift or whatever, I thank them graciously and try to correspond in the same manner when it is theirs.
For example, my yoga teacher found out about my birthday because SO sent me flowers to the studio so I could enjoy myself starting the day, so said teacher gifted me a box of my favorite incense. It was a nice touch but definitely due to circumnstances. I enjoyed it nevertheless. So now I will be getting her a nice beautiful plant for her balcony.
Absolutely and lets add that some children only disclose once to a trusted adult who might not always pay attention. It breaks my heart.