I think you’re being overly sensitive on the condoms - they’re just a contraceptive (but definitely store properly). On the sex toys.. maybe. Toy for your butt - get a new one together. Her favourite vibrator - let her keep it, it’ll pay dividends.
Try not to be insecure about the previous relationships - it’s never a good look.
Things that make me uncomfortable? - vague answers, going stuff because they feel they should rather than want to.
With GitHub sponsorship no longer an option are there any simple payment options available?Happy to support (was supporting at $10 a month) but would rather not learn crypto to do it