RiotDoll [she/her, she/her] @ RiotDoll @hexbear.net

Woo Fool

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1 yr. ago

the software is niche hobby stuff, i guarantee there's no substitute on linux, it's straight up esoteric. getting it to run via whatever process is the practical solution, if there is one.

It really seems like the living memory is the only reall window in which one can hope for a lesson humanity learns to persist. It's not lost on me the very last few people who remember WW2 are approaching zero by the day, and the closer to 0 living that number gets, the more violently capable fascism seems to be at re-asserting itself.

Shame the cold war is so much further than that from exiting living memory - every generation that grew up under duck and cover drills can't be redeemed.

i genuinely gave myself anxiety over the thought of leaving it up, but i appreciate the sentiment

It's about what annoys you. I'm from Texas, and the cali transplants there are especially awful. Everyone choosing to move to Texas from California is objectively in the running for the worst person ever award and they somehow got in n out imported even though in the great hierarchy of burgerland, in n out is positively dogshit. nobody needed lines shutting down dallas area traffic for the most mid burger you'll ever overpay for.

But Texas has native brands of insufferable, including really insufferable prosleytizing christians, busybodies shoving their nose in your business, and an appreciably oversized contingent of outright fascists

I moved to seattle in 2018 as a uhaul lesbian, and the big culture shock is the profound amount of passive aggression and conflict avoidance. The utter indifference and lack of care for anything not in the immediate concern the average washingtonian is alarming sometimes. I prefer it to Texas busybodies though. The quickest way to get people to give a shit is seeing somebody fuck with you when you're minding yoru own business.

The kind of place where you can eat pavement riding your bike through an industrial park to get to work and nobody even stops to check on you, but if somebody is being a bigot at you on the bus, the person is likely to get jumped. It's real weird, and i'd change it if i could

washington drivers suck shit and dont know what traffic laws are, but all the cali plates i see are like that plus they're trying to actively get you killed

There are regional ways of being annoying that Californians have, and then they also vigorously export their shit too, and that's why i think they probably suck more than the national average

at least until you get to new york

fuck new yorkers.

Look, i'm trying to answer very real flaws i have with solutions i'm likely to be able to execute - are there any summaries of philosophers that would provide context, but permit one to, say, read a book like "of grammatology" without knowing what the fuck Derrida is responding to in every single case? Trusting summary is to trust another person's understanding and intentions in authentic conveyance - but this product may exist, and if it does it may be something I need for the philosophy i'm currently trying to read [derrida lol]

but the point is i'm looking for inroads to philosophy that arent reading everything between plato and whatever the contemporary hot shit philosophers are

I used to be uselessly self critical, and learning how to make art in a social setting - receiving constructive but sometimes difficult critique taught me how to use it to better myself, and how to discern attack from constructive crit.

It can still hurt, but there's a certain feeling to useful criticism that's constructive.

At this point when it's harmful or unhelpful criticism or attack I just don't hold back. I'm transfemme and I'm at a point where I'm ready to fight at anybody dumb enough to disrespect me about it. I get loud and confrontational, and because I feel justified and within catharsis, the feelings relating to the attack itself don't hurt as much, they don't stay with me or ruin my day. I stood up for myself, I make it hurt to do that.

Some people might call that unhealthy but this isn't a normal thing for me, and to me if you're out there hurting people verbally or otherwise, you have it coming.

I'm white though, I am navigating life as non passing transfemme, but whiteness goes a long way in a racist society to letting me get away with attitudes that might be more dangerous for other folks, I can't speak to that struggle first hand and i wont try.

Derek Chauvin was sin eater for the entirety of the police force. A sacrifice to sate the dogs. Our fascist police state was never gonna give an inch beyond that. ACAB etc.

Todd In The Shadows on youtube kinda points out that a ton of high profile female country artists just get nuked by the industry right around this time and that creates an imbalance they never recover from, like it's still a huge issue today.

For the dixie chicks it was this horseshit, but faith hill basically just got shut out of the industry behind the scenes, and all the other high profile lady country artists of the 90s just sort of fucking vanish from public relevance in the wake of 9/11, the face of country going to an extremely masculine and regressive place even relative to it's perrenial conservative disposition

edit: it's in the context of a video about faith hill, not the dixie chicks, but this happens around the same time iirc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJpK_SGIcj4

I exalt myself such that I don't place limits or confines on my identity. I might become anything i see fit, for the time I need of it. The only regulation of this is my own natural tendencies towards certain action and outlook, and any hard physical limits - I was never going to be a pilot because of a photic sneeze reflex - this is the stuff i permit to limit and confine the possible

So having done that, having no sense of self that is intrinsically limiting, it can come off as Main Character-y. Some would call it deeply unrealistic. But I'm only giving myself the space to grow in any direction I wish, and I do so with the idea that I'm pretty smart, and there aren't many doors that aren't open to me at all. I'm pretty practical about this in practice. But I find myself constantly learning and of a mindset to become my best self, and then enrich others with what I learn. Spread the sense of what's possible, of what can be done, and try to make people's lives better in a way that has a mind to flattening hierarchy

I feel like it's a decent place for any human to be, as long as it's flexible. As long as you can admit there's someone who might be able to do that task better than you, and that's ok, you shouldn't put limits on yourself, not via class, not via training/education, not via specialization. You should strive to be as adaptable as possible so that you can be who and what you need to be at all times.

I feel like this is substantially different from acting like you're the Dovakhin in Skyrim or something - running around as a bulldozing chaos demon that crashes into people's lives, disrupts them profoundly, before fucking off to ransack the next town with a growing body count in your wake - metaphorically of course - this is a shit ass way to live. It's narcissistic, ego-maniacal, and harmful.

Those people need ego death. Like a nice huge dose of acid and just taken to their lowest point, and rebuilt... or something anyway

to me this really is a moral indictment of Obama. The idea that your smug shitheadedness isn't going to backfire, isn't going to have consequences, is on display here as the farce it is.

If you are less than righteous, you are incapable of making the world a better place. With every action a powerful person takes that is outside the light of God, the world itself spirals closer to its final destruction.

or something.

i just think that this is a completely understandable outcome of that behavior.

spite motivates more than love, it motivates more than treats and dopamine.

I would make sure the brain trust in moscow didn't fucking stop in 1945. Just keep rolling. Any good will you have to spare for the other side and its interests will be repaid in treachery and your eventual defeat. Lock the mainland down, then topple that shitty little island. The domestic communist movements in the territory you annex will be a stable government in all but a few cases. Don't stop.

You have no idea how happy this makes me. I'd moved on from chapo because they were sauceless without matt, but yeah i'll come back when he does.

This is really good advice. All of the episodes are ace, but the Iraq seasons is directly relevant

What you will notice watching the show is that the way the united states does business and makes decisions is an order of magnitude more evil and fucked up than what they do on paper.

It's honestly to the point for myself that I just assume if an American politician or military person says Thing We're Doing is Noble, i assume it's a lie with or without proof, it's a safer bet than credulous belief.

The cuba season is good, and there's plenty of blood boiling American meddling, but the seasons on Iraq, Afghanistan, and North Korea will turn anyone against this country

personally i think constantly about how to instill useful fear in the political class that isn't just something that'll get me sent to a blacksite or executed

got no answers yet, i'm usually good at tests so i'll get back to you

i went on two dates as an egg that went anywhere, and the second one only went well at all because the woman I was on the date with was able to pick up that I wasn't gonna be performing the normal song and dance so she just did her part to me lmfao

i mean she liked me, and i kind of regret not taking that relationship further (i was a disaster on legs back then and it felt wrong to let her catch feelings with someone who fundamentally wouldn't be able to meet the basic needs of a relationship)

whereas in queer circles people are either very direct - a trans man friend of my partner's once stopped her my partner mid sentence to call me beautiful and immediately proposition me, and a lesbian cis woman just leaned in and started making out with me after talking a bunch of nerd shit at her.

OR they are like, genuinely deep people who spend time earnestly seeking your company, and generally (some sapphic situations aside) there is no unspoken yearning, no unrequieted love, you know where you stand and people don't make it lonely or miserable to be shot down. Usually. That's been my experience.

I know cishet folks have things to worry about that I don't - but the ritualized experience of cishet dating was excruciating to me. Y'all can just be direct, playful, and respectful you know? It'll lead to way more fun for everyone invovled...

It's so weird because it's like congratulations - you made it to national - you almost certainly stepped on a ton of people and went into substantial debt to get here - your character is already compromised at this point and you're so used to wheeling and dealing that no matter how sincerely held, any suffocating ideological belief in the world of tomorrow cannot react, cannot influence you under the weight of every rationalized action against it you've taken to get there. And even if, EVEN IF you still have your convictions about you - congratulations - you're in the company of Bernie Sanders, and similarly will only be relevant as a gadfly that quietly loses their primary after failing to secure any long term loyalties to the decided not nice people who cut the checks to get you there.

If you think you can win that game you're just very stupid. It's like taking a faustian bargain thinking you're the guy that's gonna out lawyer the devil. Maybe man, but you won't like the price.

I hope this rag burns the fuck down then

came for the diogenes reference

My therapist of four years resigned during the pandemic. She was really good, she had some of her shit together but I think she was mostly able to put on a mask for her job - which was a queer oriented service up here in seattle that dealt with people from all walks, it was work she probably liked, and she is the only good therapist i've ever had. My last session with her she rolled her eyes at that - she felt her colleagues were on her level and actually defended them - and I see what she said, but nah, nobody has fought like she did, nobody keyed in and got me to think about my own shit like she did - nobody could even pretend to give a quarter of the shit she did.

The last few sessions she seemed to be genuinely cracking, like that professional mask came down and it was apparent she was just a human being with her own private disasters and stuff - I don't wanna share her life but I realized that like, good therapists are kinda sacrificing themselves to do it i think - eventually you burn out from that kind of give-a-fuck if the strain is too high.