Miniflux is likely to tick most of your boxes. It's self hostable and can download the full article without extra clicks / having to visit the source.

Isn't "roadman" more specific to London, and more of a voluntary lifestyle choice than a chav?

Disney probably doesn't care if this argument holds in a court of law. If it does, jackpot, they now have a get out of jail free card due to case law. Their main objective is to wear down the plaintiff financially or mentally so that they drop the case.