It’s very common for trans people to only realize that something was dysphoria after transitioning or to realize they had more dysphoria than they thought.
Very much so for me. I would have not considered a lot of what I experienced dysphoria, or could not quite pin the feelings. After transitioning, I realized I had more dysphoria than I thought simply due to the fact that I was able to identify and put a name to it.
:::
Also, you are already a girl. Based on why you think you aren't, you are experiencing dysphoria. It also sounds like you have a lot of brainworms (thoughts picked up our horribly anti-trans society), and while I have not said much (as I am new to this myself, I'm only 6 months in, our eggs probably cracked around the same time!), there are plenty of others here who would probably be able to help you much better than I, especially when it comes to removing those brainworms.
So glad you are here, this is probably one of the best trans spaces on the internet
You'll get there with practice, that's for sure! I try to be really positive when posting these things, but I'm not 100% yet and my voice is not very refined. It will get there though, it just takes practice and time.
Webfishing clocked both me and my sister. The first chest she opened awarded her the pan title, and the first chest I opened awarded me the bi title. How did it know these things? This doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to run the Good Girl title though.
I think I'm starting to get the technique down, it's just a matter of continuing to practice and phasing out my old voice. I'm very socially awkward and very easily embarrassed when it comes to using my voice with any sort of effort, so I'm hoping I'll be able to push through in groups of new people and slowly just get used to that being my voice with my old/now voice becoming the voice that feels weird to do. I'm very excited for that!
OH MY GOSH I almost forgot to mention some progress I made today. I was trying to set up Bluetooth in the car, and it always repeats certain phrases back at me. I dread it for this exact reason, and I've avoided setting it up until now with that being one of many reasons. However, it had to happen, so I went to do it and put on my best fem voice. Imagine my shock when it spits my voice back out at me, and it sounds like a mature woman! I don't even know how I did it, and I don't want to listen to it again in case it ruins what might be magic, but in that moment I felt such intense euphoria. I then enjoyed the convenience of having my music on Bluetooth while no longer having to deal with my static-ridden aux cable.
I'm excited for the day when I can finally look in a mirror and say, without any sort of doubt or exception, that I look beautiful. I'll probably cry, jump with joy, or run to the nearest person who might care, or a combination of some or all of these.
I was playing a Fire Emblem Romhack, and one of the secret characters was named "Gaylord". Game is not even a meme hack, it's an in-depth well-made romhack with a good story and good character relationships, so it hits even harder when someone like Gaylord just shows up and decides to fight in your army.
![Luna [she/her, pup/pup's]](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/5dbff34b-c35c-450e-bbc3-e60f45780334.jpeg?format=webp&thumbnail=128)
::: spoiler andVery much so for me. I would have not considered a lot of what I experienced dysphoria, or could not quite pin the feelings. After transitioning, I realized I had more dysphoria than I thought simply due to the fact that I was able to identify and put a name to it. :::