Previous name will be well known...
Agreed with my leadership that I'd put a quick heads up on Slack today in my team channel that my name has changed to avoid surprising anyone Monday, and to give the weekend for anyone to digest.
Response was positive so here's hoping no issues as work goes next week.
The field I work in has a variety of background checks for clients... so for a while until I decide to get new identification documents my deadname will float about... plus my family don't know about the changing name yet.
Hey folks,
I've been semi out at work for a while now, with our communication systems showing she/they and dressing femme in the workplace.
I've settled on wanting to be called by a different name, and talking with my team lead and HR contact am planning a switch over on Monday.
I don't expect any hostility from the team I'm in, and the company has been very supportive to date.
That doesn't stop me being a little nervous with the visibility of Slack etc changing over to a distinctly female name.
Was wondering if the experiences of other transfemmes coming out in such a clear way in their workplaces.
Have an introductory session with a therapist on Thursday now...
Important context here, my partner is a trans woman herself so understands much of my current headspace. She's also my dominant in a dynamic, the caging was more linked to that at first. We share a lot of our clothing these days, we're the same size in that... she's just taller than me. I've been dressing femme for a few months now after initially coming out as fluid... that's normal to us...
This weekend was a hard one, one of the hardest in a while.
My partner is always so supportive, and she got to have fun with another girl on Saturday night.
When we talked about it afterwards, she felt that she had been able to relieve a sapphic itch that had been sitting there.
From that it came out with the complexity she feels surrounding myself, having known me as a cis male before the egg started cracking earlier in the year.
Recently we'd been playing around with caged chastity rather than just through orgasm control. To her that was more of a sissy thing, so neutral/male leaning into femme presentation. I liked the cage, not sure I even want to look at it right now.
When we were sitting in the hotel room she talked me through an experiment. I was in my lingerie and she had me close my eyes, move in front of the mirror, drop my panties and then open them looking at myself, with my lingerie hem pulled up a bit.
My instinct was to look away, to dislike what I saw hanging there... to want to hide it.
I asked for her help going to Victoria's Secret yesterday, got measured for a bra... and bought two... wanting to give some shape and form to my chest.
Not sure why I'm writing this tbh, other than to express myself a little to the void in the safety of strangers.
Going to talk to a gender support line when they open later in the afternoon... for now I'm hiding under a blanket cuddling Blahaj and occasionally crying.
Don't... the comments by our (UK) minsters yesterday were appalling and very concerning...
The past week has been quite the mix of highs and lows.
Couple of rough patches with partner.
Having a very affirming experience in Ann Summers, getting my first lingerie under her guidance.
Having my referral to the gender identity clinic confirmed.
Fucker Carlson streams his show on twitter, since he was fired from having his bullshit platformed on Fox.
I keep my nails short, preference of my partner.
I love having them painted though, and there's a distinct difference in how I feel when they need redoing, and having them pretty.
My girlfriend pretty much shoved me into the fitting rooms the first time I went to buy a skirt... I was so very nervous showing the gal on the door the one item to try on.
Fast forward a bit and I had a lovely experience at the Levi store ... was looking for a new pair of jeans for a holiday. As I was looking at the various cuts I was unsure wear to pick up, as I wanted something more form fitting. My partner said that the female cut has very little crotch area though, so potentially an issue there... so was looking in the men's section.
Assistant in the store came over and offered help. I somewhat shyly mentioned that I was looking for someone a little tighter on the skin, and mentioned "I have a masc pair already" ... their eyes pretty much lit up "Well you won't find what you want on this side of the store" and pretty much dragged me over to the women's section, and started pulling bits off the shelf and holding them up to me.
"Well this is pretty much the equivalent of a mens 34 waist, what do you wear normally?"
"Well my femme size in my clothing is usually a 16..."
Again a slight grin... before rushing me over to the cubicles to try on the items they picked out...
A very good eye they had... picked out a pair so comfy and I felt really good in. Was also just such an affirming experience.
Which is also fair as the lines can get very blurred dependant on the definitions in play...
Trans/NB/Fluid/queer are all very closely related after all and people can identify with all of these.
Because you're focused on the visuals from a single user perspective...
- There's the world state and game logic to consider as well, and this would be relevant even in a 2D sprite based game.
- The article makes it clear that it's the couch co-op split screen that is causing the most headaches, with whatever additional overhead there is in maintaining another active character and rendering of the world on screen.
It's not been a good week tbh...
Had a very rough patch with my partner that we're trying to work through, but it's tough.
A lot of tears, some minor self harm, emotions on an erratic seesaw.
Weekend plans are some shopping, see my new nephew, some time with my daughters and preparations for vacation next week.
Since I started to lean more femme in my usual attire this really has become a problem...
That's a pity, but also very understandable.
Thank you for taking the time to reply ❤️
I've had a lot of cats as pets over my life to date.
Three of my favourite were all black kitties.
Then there was my dark tortoiseshell who will always have a special place in my heart.
Speaking of that instance... has there been any progress on federating with them again?
I was surprised to see little talk about Donald's Jan6th charges on my feed, but after flipping accounts I realised most of the chatter was going on over there.
I don't particularly mind if I need a dedicated LW account... but it would be nice to be able to keep my posts consolidated under this one.