"rockstar chicken" subterfuge. hacking the normies like the bad guys, but doing it for good.

You have me hacked... When it comes to beer-battered fried chicken tenders, I am all in. Nothing better than chicken tenders, I love them, although prices do get ridiculous lately. I would go all the way with you, but I see some minor problems here.

As soon as I open a brick & mortar shop on the corner of my town and people are buzzing in and out and having a great time with their xmr purchased chicken tenders, some gang members of the local people extortion club will show up and demand money from me. Payable in US dollars, nothing else. They will threaten me to drag me out on the street and burn down my business if I don't show them all my books with the recordings of my what they call 'income' and pay them a percentage on any sale I make. Well, since XMR is all private and closed, I don't have anything to show comparable to what they demand: US Dollars, 'Green Backs', you know. How do I handle this?
Those extortion clubs I just mentioned are very well organized. They don't come just in 'local' form. No, they are organized on federal level too. I think the acronym for those is 'IRS', not sure though, there might be multiple of them. But anyhow, they basically do the same, demanding US Dollars I have to pay them. If I don't pay, they go so far as to show up with armoured vehicles, swat teams with machine guns (yes, the real ones), drag me out from my business onto the street and finish me off. They tell bystanders that I am a real bad guy and everyone will believe them. Oh, the few non-believers will down their head and move out of the way real fast, maybe going home and down a bottle of whiskey to forget what they just saw. How do I deal with those?
Last but not least, another gang shows up and tells me they are coming for the good and protection of all the people around me that eat my delicious chicken strips. They call themselves 'Health Department' and they demand I buy a so called license which allows me to do what I do, cooking up delicious chicken strips. I have to pay for the license with, you guessed it... US Dollars. If I don't purchase a 'license' from them they essentially do the same thing to me as explained under (2), armored vehicles, swat teams, etc etc. How can I fend them off?

You see, it sounds all good and great to try and make a living out of what you cherish and strive for and even make your customers happy with the best chicken strips ever. I love XMR and the ability to pay and receive money anonymously. But how do I deal with all these hurdles? How do I keep all the gangsters away from me? Sometimes I feel they have figured out that eventually their 'income' stream dries up if they allow me to use and accept XMR instead of their own created currency. They would slowly but steadily not be able to harvest my work and productivity (at least partially, 50% or so) anymore. Other people would follow, their currency would become worthless since nobody would use it anymore and keep their full earned income. Then they would be finished. They would actually have to work themselves, and we can't have that, can we? They working hard to not let this happen.

I think we will see still some time go by before we can purchase some chicken strips with XMR. Unless... you have some solution to fight off the gang's?

I have some ideas. What about we create a "Best Chicken's eating club" private member association. Everyone who want's to eat the best beer-battered chicken strips will have to join and become a member, otherwise no chicken strips for them. The association doesn't sell anything. We only hand out great chicken strips and would expect a donation in XMR in return to cover the cost of producing them. How about that? Contact me if that sounds interesting to you.

2 comments

You have me hacked... When it comes to beer-battered fried chicken tenders, I am all in. Nothing better than chicken tenders, I love them, although prices do get ridiculous lately. I would go all the way with you, but I see some minor problems here.
As soon as I open a brick & mortar shop on the corner of my town and people are buzzing in and out and having a great time with their xmr purchased chicken tenders, some gang members of the local people extortion club will show up and demand money from me. Payable in US dollars, nothing else. They will threaten me to drag me out on the street and burn down my business if I don't show them all my books with the recordings of my what they call 'income' and pay them a percentage on any sale I make. Well, since XMR is all private and closed, I don't have anything to show comparable to what they demand: US Dollars, 'Green Backs', you know. How do I handle this?
Those extortion clubs I just mentioned are very well organized. They don't come just in 'local' form. No, they are organized on federal level too. I think the acronym for those is 'IRS', not sure though, there might be multiple of them. But anyhow, they basically do the same, demanding US Dollars I have to pay them. If I don't pay, they go so far as to show up with armoured vehicles, swat teams with machine guns (yes, the real ones), drag me out from my business onto the street and finish me off. They tell bystanders that I am a real bad guy and everyone will believe them. Oh, the few non-believers will down their head and move out of the way real fast, maybe going home and down a bottle of whiskey to forget what they just saw. How do I deal with those?
Last but not least, another gang shows up and tells me they are coming for the good and protection of all the people around me that eat my delicious chicken strips. They call themselves 'Health Department' and they demand I buy a so called license which allows me to do what I do, cooking up delicious chicken strips. I have to pay for the license with, you guessed it... US Dollars. If I don't purchase a 'license' from them they essentially do the same thing to me as explained under (2), armored vehicles, swat teams, etc etc. How can I fend them off?
You see, it sounds all good and great to try and make a living out of what you cherish and strive for and even make your customers happy with the best chicken strips ever. I love XMR and the ability to pay and receive money anonymously. But how do I deal with all these hurdles? How do I keep all the gangsters away from me? Sometimes I feel they have figured out that eventually their 'income' stream dries up if they allow me to use and accept XMR instead of their own created currency. They would slowly but steadily not be able to harvest my work and productivity (at least partially, 50% or so) anymore. Other people would follow, their currency would become worthless since nobody would use it anymore and keep their full earned income. Then they would be finished. They would actually have to work themselves, and we can't have that, can we? They working hard to not let this happen.
I think we will see still some time go by before we can purchase some chicken strips with XMR. Unless... you have some solution to fight off the gang's?
I have some ideas. What about we create a "Best Chicken's eating club" private member association. Everyone who want's to eat the best beer-battered chicken strips will have to join and become a member, otherwise no chicken strips for them. The association doesn't sell anything. We only hand out great chicken strips and would expect a donation in XMR in return to cover the cost of producing them. How about that? Contact me if that sounds interesting to you.
Sounds exciting to have more physical point of sale businesses accepting and promoting Monero. Interested to see how it grows. Please post updates as the project progresses.