Also USPS: Informed Deliverytm reports you have no mailpieces or packages scheduled for delivery today.
Also also USPS: For your convenience, your mail carrier will walk up to your door without your package, but will rather stick a "you weren't home" pink slip in your mailbox without bothering to knock, while you are making eye contact with them through the screen door.
FedEx: Our completely untrained driver has high centered the truck 3.3 miles from your house. You'll need to go there and bring a fire extinguisher because the truck is also in fire.
UPS is the fucking worst. Everything I have ever had shipped with them gets delayed or lost or damaged. Somehow, I've had better luck from FedEx and I know people typically think they're god-awful.
I actually got really lucky because of that. I sent the seller a message saying I never received the product but it says delivered so they sent me a new one (it was worth $100, so good on them!) and then I got the original package 2 days later lol
Up until recently USPS was really reliable for me. Now things just keep getting stuck in Philly or lost in Atlanta.
Thankfully I've never had a delivery issue with FedEx (got a good delivery driver I guess), but they also like to randomly let packages sit for days in a distribution center.
UPS used to be good here but now half the time packages from them arrive all bashed up, and they charge way too much for pickup.